Hysteria (studxstud)

12. Sick?

It was the last day of Pride and Cris was looking weak. She has terrible asthma but it hasn't really been a problem the last few years. You can never get her to open up about what's wrong with her. I had to ask her a million times for her to admit that she was having terrible chest pains and that her pumps weren't working. I started to panic, we were at her house and her dad was out and if her pumps weren't working I don't know what else to do.

"See, this why I didn't want to tell you because your gonna start panicking and I'm gonna panic and I might just die if I panic" Cris said while heavily breathing.

I sighed and ran out of the room to get her a paper bag to breath into. After I tried to get her to take deep breaths I decided to call her dad and ask him to come and get us but his phone kept going to voice mail.  So I called my mom.
She got here in less that 10 minutes with her hair still tied up under her bonnet in her sweats.  We rushed to get Cris in the car before it got any worst. She was hardly breathing and I had worry etched all over my face because I couldn't lose my best friend. Not now. On the way to the hospital I tried calling her dad multiple times and he only picked up when we finally got there.  I told him where we were then hung up.

We rushed to get her inside the hospital to the emergency room so she could get nebulized. We stood by her bed listening to her heart beat monitor while she was getting treatment. The doctor asked to see us in the hall and advised us that they would need to keep her over night to do a blood test and further checks on her chest. He also said he would contact us if anything comes up.

Cris made me promise to never tell anyone if she ever got admitted to the hospital because she hated pity parties and people acting like they cared but I had to tell her mom.

I decided that I would send her a text message telling her what's up and that she should call Cris' dad for more information, instead she called me crying saying that she would be on the next flight to Jamaica so I should let him know to pick her up tomorrow.  I was shook to say the least. Her mom would never consider coming back out here, she hated it here.

Cris can't manage this much stress, this is why she lived carefree. She was diagnosed with depression a few years back after she attempted suicide. She never really told me the full details but I feel like I had a lot to do with her making that decision, but you can't blame my ignorance. I wish she had tried talking to me before everything. 

We went back to the hospital in the morning to pick up Cris only to find out that they weren't planning to discharge her and they had some news for us. We sat in the blank waiting room waiting for the doctor to come speak with us. Her mom made sure that she was in a private room for herself because we spoke to her about how awkward she feels around others especially in a situation like this. The doctor finally came up and I started to dread the fact that he didn't stay away longer. 

"Hi, Ms Jaydana?" 

"Yes that's me." I stood up and he made a gesture for me to sit back down while he walked up towards me. 

"Is Crystal's father here?" 

"No, just me and my mom."

"OK, since you guys brought her in and this is some sensitive information I would like to know if you are comfortable with hearing this without her parent around and maybe you could relay the information to him afterwards. Crystal already knows what's happening with her and she hasn't said a word since this morning. Hasn't eaten either." 

"It's OK, you can tell us." My mom jumped in very eagerly. She loved Crystal, since she was basically the mom in her life because her mom was overseas for majority of her life. I could see tears welling in her eyes, my heart started to slow down maybe it knew more than my brain right now. His words were jumbled and so were the thoughts in my mind. 

"Crystal has lung cancer." 

I was shocked, I just started laughing. "Wait, you're funny doc. It's way pass April fool's day. Come on, tell us the truth." 

"I wish I was trying to be funny here but I have to maintain a level of seriousness whenever I have this white coat on. So please understand that I'm not trying to make funny here." He sighed.

"So you're trying to tell me that my 19 year old friend has lung cancer?? She's 19 for Christ Sake!!! Why are you doing this to me? Why are you trying to take my best friend away? She's so fragile, she...." I was so upset, my mom had to hold me. She was trying to hush me but my heart was torn to pieces, what I was feeling couldn't be fixed with just hushes. 

"Can we see her?" My mom asked the doctor, her face wet with tears.

He nodded and led us down the brightly lit corridors, it felt more like I was going to identify a body than see my best friend that was still breathing. Was she?

He opened the door and stood on the inside allowing us to pass him. I couldn't look up, my eyes were glued to the ground as I heard my mom draw up trying to stop the tears from coming out. I decided to look up when the first tear drop landed on my converse. I can't believe that this is how we were spending our last month of summer. It was a Saturday and fortunately I didn't have work. I was planning on resigning anyways and this was just the icing on the cake for me to resign on Monday. 

Our eyes met, she was tired. I was tired as well, from knowing that she was going through all of this and I couldn't help her. 

"Hey ma, wassup?" She said so casually as if nothing was wrong, as if it was just a regular day in the schoolyard. 

"I'm good cuz. I'm good. How are you?" I smiled at her trying to dry my tears.

"A nigga could be better, I swear to Gaiiiaaa" She drew out, I laughed so hard and ran to hug her. I could hear my mom laugh through her sobs behind us.

"Man, why me? I've been so kind to the world... I've been so kind." She said with so much pain my heart broke. It was already broken but somehow it managed to tear up some more. 

"Hey mama," my mom walked up to her with a huge smile on her face.

"Hey mommyyyy," she stretched out her hands to hug my mom. 

"You'll be fine, you'll be fine my little angel." My mom started to cry so hard. There goes my heart, breaking again. 

"You've been through so much, you're a strong one. You'll make it through, I know it" My mom said to her between sobs and before I knew it everyone in the room was crying. I couldn't lose her, not now... not ever. 

I was sitting beside her on a chair next to her bed when the door flew open. Her dad ran in with my mom behind him. She probably told him the news. He was torn up, his face was wet with tears already and he hasn't even spoken to her to see how was she doing. He ran to her bedside and I stood up to be beside my mom. She whispered to tell me that we should give them some space but I was reluctant to leave my best friend. 

"Hey baby doll," was the last thing I heard before I stepped to leave the room, with one last glance at my best friend, I could see a smile on her face. She was happy that her dad was finally here; he's all she got as biological family out here. I was happy that she was finally smiling. I walked out with a smile but the tears were still streaming down my face and I wonder if we can ever come back from this. 

*** 

Hey guys,

sorry if this is sad.. lol.

this will not be a happy book. please remember to comment and vote!

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