Hysteria (studxstud)

18. Hospital Blues

JAY's POV

It's been a week and Crystal still hasn't opened her eyes. I had one week worth of sleep bags under my eyes and I keep replaying exactly what my best friend would say to me if she could see me now, "you going to the airport or some shit? Why yo bitch ass got such heavy bags under your eyes? They gon charge you for being overweight homie."

I'm over missing her, I just want my friend back. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted to hear her bitch ass attitude complaining about how someone made a comment about her and Shane being two studs and how awkward it is but she didn't care because she was happy. I want to be happy with her here with me and Shane and Julio and ME! I just need my best friend back. I buried Rox, I can't bury her too.

"Hey babe" I looked up to see Julio and Shane standing over me.
"Damn nigga when was the last time you got some sleep?" Shane asked with a worried look.
"I can't sleep." Julio doesn't know this, because I've been staying at home for the past week and I've also been avoiding her calls and texts. After leaving here on Friday I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone so I requested that she dropped me home. I went to school but I wasn't really focusing on anything, I ended up requesting for all the notes to be sent to me via email. I was stressed out both mentally and physically.

"I just miss her so much," I started crying reaching out for Julio and she sat beside me so that I could rest my head on her shoulder. I heard Shane sigh and mumbled that she was gonna go in.

SHANE'S POV

Damn, my baby was finally dying. I saw it coming and she even told me so herself. Don't get me wrong, I don't want her to die but I wanted her to be at peace. She was always in so much pain and always had to be hooked up to oxygen tanks looking pale as hell. I stepped into her room and she was strung up to so many different tubes my heart sank. I walked up to the bed and held her hand, I wish I could turn her on her side because she hated sleeping on her back; said it made her feel like a pillow princess even though she was anything but.

"Pudding, I love you so much. Why do you have to leave me now when everything is going great? How am I going to move on without you? I can't live without you! I can't see tomorrow without you and I'm so damn mad honestly you're so selfish to leave me all alone when all I ever wanted was to be with you and to love you. It's not your fault I know, but I just can't help hating you right now even though I love you so much my heart aches. Why you gonna leave a nigga lonely?"  A tear escaped, I could feel it running down my cheek and as soon as it fell on our intertwined hands the rest followed. I was hollering, my knees were weak and I couldn't see or hear anything other than my tears and my cries.

"Damn ma, why you gotta look so ugly when you cry?"

I looked up to see Cris' eyes squinted and staring at me with a disgusted look on her face.

"You motherfucker! I knew you'd pull through! You were in a coma for a week babe, I missed yo stupid ass." I passed her a cup of water because her voice was hoarse. I watched her gulp it down before I kissed her forehead and walked out to get Jay and a nurse.

I stood in the corner watching Cris and Jay exchange words and tears. They were a force to be reckoned with, a perfect match! Julio and I weren't only best friends, she's my half sister and the closest thing to family I'd ever had. I looked over at her and she was in tears which made me want to bawl as well. Reminds me of when we were kids and she would always do some reckless shit and get hurt, being older by two years I had to make sure she was safe. After all these years and all the blood I had to clean up, it was her that was keeping me safe all along. She would take the fall or do the rough stuff while I stayed to the side and waited on the outcome, just as how I'm waiting on the outcome of this and it didn't seem promising. Our family was going bankrupt and we needed any help we could get, and that help would be Crystal.

I know she loves me and if I asked her to donate her heart, she would. Since I already know that she loves me I guess I'll just go ahead and skip to taking her heart instead of asking permission. She wants to be cremated anyways, so I wouldn't be doing any wrong would I? I stepped out into the hallway to make a call.

"Hey? Yeah, she just woke from the induced coma. Uh huh the doctors are talking to her parents. They said the cancer is almost at her heart so we're gonna need to move a lil faster. Ok. Will do. Stay in touch!"

"Who were you talking to?" I turned around and was met with the disgruntled face of Juliette.

"No one."

"Nah you lying, who the fuck were you talking to?"

"Bitch if you don't keep your muthafuckn voice down, Ima keep it down for you. I stepped up to her with a piercing stare.
She walked away with her jaws tight.

"That's what the fuck I thought!" I yelled after her.

I walked back into the room to see Crystal sitting up so the nurses could change her oxygen tubes.

"Hey pops can I talk to you for a sec?"

"What's up Ashawnia?"

"Oooo you know I hate that name. What did the doctors say about Crystal?"

"They said it's too late for a lung transplant, that the cancer had spread too fast without notice."

"Damn, that's it?" I'm sure my face was laced with concern because her dad just kept on nodding.

"That's it my dear, just that." He said in a defeated tone and walked out of the room with his ex wife towing behind him.

"It's not as bad as it looks, trust me." Cris said as I was walking over to her.

"Ah baby, I believe you. I don't want you to be in pain"

"I love you." Cris stared at me with longing in her eyes and if I was a different person I would've been crushed with a guilty conscience but I'm a family man and my family needed me and I had to make tough decisions.

"I know, now get some food and get some rest aiite? I'll be right here." I said while kissing her forehead.

I actually had feelings for her.

~~

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