•°~Kleinsen-Oneshots~°•

Memey.

It gets sexual my dudes. One thing leads to another and yeah. Lmao.
Evan was sitting on his bed, crying. His day had been shit and Zoe had broke up with him.

Jared said he'd be(e) there soon, but it had been an hour and he still hadn't showed up.

Evan was ready to give up hope.

Then the door burst open.

"YA LIKE JAZZ?" Jared Bee Benson screamed.

Evan looked up and started to laugh.

Jared was wearing a bee costume.

"Or.." He said.

He ran out, then rushed back in wearing a Robbie Rotten costume.

And started screaming "We Are Number One."

Evan burst out laughing.

"One more." Jared said.

He ran out, then ran back in holding a microphone and a suit.

"Well then. " Evan said, fascinated.

"Ahem. Uhhh, hi. I'm Jared. I'm your neighborhood gay guy. (Evan giggled at this.) And I have a dick. Because I'm a guy. And I have a dick."

Evan giggled.

"Sometimes, I like to take that dick, then.. wait, no, I like to cut holes in carrots, then just shove my dick into them."

Evan burst out laughing. "What the hell?" He said through laughter.

"Oh also, I have a poem. Ahem.
Some flowers are green.
But grass is still greener.
When I think of you..
I play with my wiener."

Evan blushed wildly. Jared smirked.

"O-oh."

"What's that look? You like this?"

Jared is getting s m e x y.

He started to slowly pull off his tie.

"O-oh my god." Evan said, his face going a darker red as he tried not to stare.

Jared began to pull off the black jacket.

"O-oh jesus." Evan said, looking away.

"Don't look away from me, sexy~" Jared said, turning Evan to face him.

"U-uhhhh.." Evan said, his face crimson red.

"Lost for words? I get it, baby. Stare if you want~"

Evan was starting to enjoy this.

"Are you in love with me, sexy~?" Jared said with a wink.

"U-uhhh.."

"It's okay. I'll kiss you anyway."

"Wait wha-" And then Evan was pushed over. Onto his bed. And kissed.

Evan melted into the kiss, kissing back.

Jared let his tounge slide into Evan's mouth, Evan allowing it to.

"What are we doing?" Evan asked, a smile on his bright red face.

"I don't know." Jared replied. They then resumed their French kissing.

Evan let out a soft moan. Jared's tounge felt amazing against his own.

Evan felt Jared slide his hand up his shirt. He allowed it to.

Evan let out more moans as Jared touched his chest, not breaking the kiss.

Jared pulled away, moving to Evan's neck. He chose a spot and began to bite, sucking a little. Evan moaned loudly.

"J-Jared~" He moaned.

"Did I find your soft spot~?"

"M-maybe.."

Jared's hand slid down Evan's chest and started to slide into his pants when--

2 people screamed.

"HOLY FUCK!!"

"THEY'RE FUCKING, SOMEONE CALL 911!!"

"OH MY SHIT I CAN'T BREATHE."

They heard joking screams and someone laughing their ass off when they stopped what they were doing.

"MURPHY?! BECK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Jared screamed, his face bright red.

"NO, WHAT THE FUCK TO YOU! MY FRIEND IS LOSING HIS VIRGINITY TO A BATHBOMB EATER!!"

"YOU'D DO IT TOO IF YOU KNEW THE WAY IT CRONCHED. THE CRONCH IS AMAZING."

Alana turned to Evan, laughing her ass off as well.

"YOU-- YOU JUST GOT CAUGHT!! YOU JUST GOT CAUGHT FUCKING JARED!!"

She fell over laughing.

"OH MY GOD I CAN'T B R E A T H E THIS IS GOLDDDDD."

Meanwhile, Evan was covering his totally bright red face.

"WE WERE NOT HAVING SEX!" Evan yelled.

"THEN WHY THE HELL WAS HE TRYING TO TOUCH YOUR DICK?! TREE BOY HAS LOST HIS VIRGINITY!!"
Connor screeched.

"I HAVE NOT!! WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY FUCK." Evan yelled back.

Jared sighed and handed everyone 10 dollars.

"This NEVER happened." He said.

Everyone nodded.

"5 more and I'll delete the post. Nobody's seen it yet." Alana said.

Jared passed her a 5.

"I didn't post it SUCCKEERRR!" She yelled with a laugh.

"Fuck." Jared said.

I'm starting to get used to writing smut lmao. Why.