Monster | Vkook

(7) Confused feelings

Jimin's POV:

I was starring at a smiling Jungkook who was lying on his bed, busy with throwing his little ball into the air and catching it shortly afterwards.

After the incident with his father, Jungkook became a little distanced and didn't tell us, his hyungs, anything about his real thoughts and feelings anymore. He didn't even spend much time with us which slightly broke my heart, but I tried to understand him.
The maknae did his best to show us his happy and bubbly side, so we wouldn't notice his sadness underneath the fake mask, but after the funeral of his father ended, he did cry a lot with his mother.

I also noticed him crying in his sleeps on some nights, but every time I asked him about it, he only pushed me away, saying it was nothing to worry about. The smiles he gave us weren't fake, but his eyes wouldn't laugh when he tried to joke with us. To see him now smiling from one ear to another like an idiot made me happy, but I was his hyung so I had to tease him a little.

"You're looking like an idiot Jungkook, an overall happy idiot."

My voice seemed to straddle him as he looked to me, his small ball hitting his face to which he groaned, because of the pain. Pabo.

"Now you're looking like an idiotic idiot", I laughed as he sent me a glare.

"However, what is the cause of your happiness?"

"Do you really want to know it or are you just joking?", he said with a small pout which melted my heart. After all, he was my best friend and I cared a lot about him.

I gave him a warm smile, instantly brightening his mood, "No, I really want to know it."

Jungkook's POV :

He gave me his usual warm smile, his eyes going a bit to crescents. I know that they all have been worried about me since the incident with my father, especially Jimin. I tried to joke with them to forget what happened, but the more I tried, I recognised that I didn't want to forget what happened with my father. I wanted to know who shoot him. There was something odd about the story and I didn't know why, but there seemed to be something wrong about the information I was given.

As I focused back on Jimin hyung, he was still starring at me but with one eyebrow raised which showed that he wanted an answer.
Should I tell him? I can definitely trust him but I'm still not sure about my feelings.

"Jungkook? Do you want to answer the question today or do you need more time to think about why you are so happy?", he asked confused.

I gulped. Why was I so nervous?

"I don't really know why to be honest", I said sheepishly.

"Is it because of a certain grey haired male who looks like a fluff ball but has a voice and character showing the opposite, maybe in my age?"

That explained Taehyung pretty much except the fact that I believed his character was not really like what he showed to others. He is brighter and cuter than that.
Wait, did I say cute?

"Uhm, I'm not sure but every time I think about him, I get exited and have to smile", I explained looking away with a visible blush printed on my face.

"I knew it, you like that boy!"

I could see from the corner of my eye that he had a huge smirk on his face.

"No, it's not that...I think I just want to be his friend and like him in a brotherly way."

"I don't think that's true, I bet you're not even believing yourself right now Jungkook!"

He was right, I didn't believe myself.

"I'm just confused with my own feelings Jimin hyung. One part of me wants to stay with him, but the other part says that I can't have him and then there is the third part..."

"The third part?", he asked and I nodded.

"Yes, the third part. The tiniest part which is almost inaudible but still there. The last part of my deepest thoughts, the part which tells me to stay away from him. The last part which whispers that he will bring danger and harm, but I think it's just because I'm afraid he will reject me and I will end up feeling lonely just like seven years ago."

"Jungkook look at me."

It was almost a command so I instantly looked at him.

"I understand that you are afraid to be alone again, I understand that you don't want to feel pain again, but there are always ups and downs. You are not alone Jungkook, you never were. We will be always next to your side to cheer for you, to cry with you and to be there for you. Sounds to much? Yea, the truth sounds like that. I think you shouldn't rush things. Take your time to clear your feelings for him and remember that I will always be there for you", he smiled at the end.

"Thank you hyung. I know that and I really appreciate it. I'm grateful for everything."

"I'm glad to hear that. You know that you can always talk to me when you feel the need to it."

"I know that Jimin hyung and you are right, there is something else I want to talk about."

He nodded, "Of course, go on."

"So, how are things going with Yoongi hyung? Are you two a thing or friends with benefits?", I asked knowing very well what the topic caused to him.

He blushed crimson red and was angry as he yelled at me.

"Jungkook!"

But that anger didn't last long as I flashed him my bunny smiley, what he called it and liked.

I'm really thankful for my friends.

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It's a bit cringe but I like it this way. I just have one week left and then the hell called school will start again. I need someone to save me save me~