Butterfly [MIN YOONGI]

Chapter 1 - Lost Boy

Yoongi was in his own in his shared bedroom with Jungkook, BTS youngest member, but since the younger stayed back at the dance practice room with Jimin, he was all alone inside this room.

'Why does everything feel so empty?' Yoongi thought looking at the room ceiling immersed in his own thoughts.

'When did living, smiling, breathing felt so hard?'

"Hyung! Are you alright?" Jungkook asked worriedly as he saw Yoongi held his head with distress look on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just really sleepy, that's all." Yoongi said smiling at the younger. He wishes Jungkook realizes his fake smile but also wishes that he won't. Had he gone insane?

"Hyung you always sleep anytime we see you! Are you kidding me?" Jimin said laughing followed by the remaining members.

"I know right! Got that one time I got kicked out at 2pm when I asked you to accompany me to the movie." Taehyung grin.

Everyone keeps on teasing Yoongi. He knows they all mean no harm, not at all. But, why is this stinging sensation in his heart not calming down? Infact he was unstable, Yoongi just smiles and fake a laugh along with the other. Little did he know, there will always this one guy that always keeps his eyes closed at him. He knows Yoongi seems down and in trouble. But he just doesn't know how to help him, since he was the youngest. He doesn't know what to do.

'Hyung...Are you really fine?' Jungkook thought as he looked at Yoongi that was laughing with others.

"Yoongi hyung!" Yoongi was drag back to reality as Jungkook was waving his hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention. Realizing he had been spacing out, he quickly changes into a sitting posture on the bed and faces Jungkook.

"I had been calling you for like 5 minutes hyung.... What are you thinking about?" Jungkook asked while he walked toward the table beside their bed and charged his phone that seemed already out of battery. Yoongi messed up his hair frustrated and again the younger saw.

"Hyung....can I ask?" Jungkook ask suddenly and earn the lazy reply from Yoongi as usual.

"Do you have anything bothering you?" Jungkook ask looking at Yoongi face changing its expression as he sits on the bed beside him.

"No, I don't. Why would you think about that?" Yoongi asks back giving that famous smirk of his's but not so confident smirk?

"I don't know. It's just worried me. You know you can always talk to me about anything right hyung?" Jungkook said smiling and assuring the older. Yoongi can afford but smile at Jungkook kindness and to hide tears threatening to fall.

"Don't worry Kookie. I'm just tired. I'll be fine after few hours' sleep." Yoongi said as he laid his body back on the bed.

"Uhm...Yoongi hyung?" Jungkook called again earning a sigh from Suga that already closed his eyes.

"You need to eat dinner." Jungkook say while shaking Yoongi body but then the older turn to the side avoiding Jungkook eyes on his face.

"I already eat breakfast also the energy bar before the dance practice. I'm fine. Just let me sleep." He said obviously lying and hoping the younger won't realize it.

Jungkook just sighed and patted Yoongi head gently twice before walking out from the room. As soon as he heard the door clicked, Yoongi opens his eyes.

'Hyung is sorry Jungkook ah..I just don't want to gain anymore.' He said as he walks toward the bathroom then locked the door before he walks toward the big mirror set up in their bathroom showing his pale white skin face. Slowly he lifts up his shirt revealing nothing but skin and bone. Slowly bringing his hand to touch the skin, analyzing if there was fat after eating just an apple for the day.

'Why am I still fat? Why doesn't this fat go away? When will I reach the perfection? When will I satisfy all the fans?' The more he thought about it, the more pain he felt in his heart. As he looked back to his reflection, tears fell from his eyes.

'When will all this pain end?'

He holds up to the sink as his leg feels like a jelly, tired to even standing by his own.

'Don't cry you jerk. This is nothing. Everyone going through the same things. Your pain is nothing special. Get up and work your ass up stupid. See everyone is working hard to reach their success, and you? Here crying like a baby alone.' Yoongi said mentally cursed and crushed his own confidence.

After finally he can bring himself up and stop the tears in his eyes, Yoongi tiredly walks out of the bathroom to meet Namjoon sitting on the bed with cross leg.

"Namjoon?" Yoongi call bringing Namjoon attention from the book in his hand toward Yoongi that was standing in front of him.

"Oh..Can I talk to you for a while Yoongi?" He said and the sound of his voice is scaring Yoongi, but he tried to act normal and nodded.

"What's the matter?" Yoongi said sitting down beside Namjoon.

"You had been skipping meals." Namjoon said receiving nervous expression as Yoongi massaging his nape awkwardly.

"It's nothing. I'm just not hungry. That's all. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Yoongi said showing Namjoon his smile.

"This is serious, ok? All the members are really worried about you. We rarely see you at the dining table now." Namjoon asked, clearly worried. Yoongi thinks for a while then he replies.

"It's nothing really. I just eat when all of you not in the kitchen. Don't bother please." Namjoon was about to say something, but Yoongi expression clearly show uneasy and annoyed.

"Try not to get sick, ok? We all worry. Take care of your health." Namjoon said patting Yoongi shoulder before walking out.

'I'm sorry..I..didn't mean..to be annoying...I am just..scared..I'm sorry everyone. I won't make anyone worry.' 

~TO BE CONTINUE~

💮 Author notes : Hello guys! So this is the first chapter and tell me what you think about it.Also,please voted up to support me mentally.Keep smiling beautiful!💮