Butterfly [MIN YOONGI]

Chapter 6 - Bygone

After all of them reach the dorm,they quickly let Yoongi to rest while Jin and Hoseok make dinner for the others as they didn't stop by the restaurant like how they planned before because everyone agree Yoongi condition is way more important.Jungkook as the closest,decide to stay in the room beside Yoongi and accompany him.Just then Taehyung and Jimin walk in.

"How is hyung?" Jimin ask as they both sit on the bed and surround Yoongi.

"He still sleeping." Jungkook said.

"He is changing isn't he?" Taehyung said as he look as Yoongi sleeping face.

"Yoongi hyung is no longer the cheerful and swag Suga anymore.." Jimin said sad.

"All I can ever see from he is,pain,sorrow,darkness.I don't know why,but he seems like he is struggling with something.And he prefer us to not know anything about it.I don't know why." Jungkook said as he caress Yoongi hand gently.

"Maybe,this is just the other side of him you know?" Jin said suddenly entering the scene.

"What do you mean hyung?" Jimin ask curious,

"Everyone,all of us,have two sides of us.And it is common for everyone to hide the other side of you.But sometimes,the other side you hide might bring harm to you back." Jin said as he look to Yoongi.

"Everyone come out and eat.I don't want anyone to get sick anymore.Yoongi will clearly receive all night long nag from me later." Jin said as everyone just laugh at how warm and nice Jin is acting like a mum to the group.

Everyone was having a dinner together and was laughing at each other jokes and nobody realize Yoongi had already wake up in his room.

'Where am I?'

He ask himself as he realize he was all alone in a bed and after few moments just he realize he was back in their dorm again.

'What happen?How did I get in here?'

He think back and just then he realize what had actually happen.But all he can remember is he was kind of fainted,then wake up in the dressing room with people around worrying about him and the last is Namjoon carrying him on his back.

'Did I just burden everyone again?Oh my God,I am just a shit.Why do I always do this?Why,why I have to fainted.I'm such a weak ass.I must had already mess everything.They must had been scold by the management,what should I do?Is this the end of BTS..Is it because of me..?'

Yoongi thought as tears streaming down his face.

'I guess they all already hate me now since nobody was here,oh why is my life so great.'

Yoongi thought laughing like a maniac then he stop and stares at the wall as tears streaming down his face.

'What am I doing...Why am I here?Why is this feeling is so painful..'

He thought as his hold his chest.

'There's nothing for me anymore,I am just..wasting the spaces..'

'Why can't I be perfect like everyone else.Why am I always like this,whining.Why am I never so perfect like everyone!Why am I the one who have to gone through this alone!'

He thought angry as the pillow reach the wall as he throw them away angry.

'Everything was making sense before,but why isn't it now?'

'I feel like my heart,my life is a completely disaster.'

'Someone..please...help me...please...'

'I want to be happy..but do I deserve it?'

Yoongi thought last as he bring his sick body toward the cabinet and slide open the drawer to find the thing he had been hiding all this time from everyone,his razor.The only one thing that know his fragile and mess side look like.He walk into the bathroom,looking at the room last,hoping he will never have to see it anymore after he walk in.Then,he take those heavy steps,and walk in,locking himself in the bathroom.

As everyone finished eating,Jungkook run back to the room as he was laughing to the others joke on the way,but his smile drop as he saw how in mess is the room.

"Hy..hyung?" Jungkook walk further to find Yoongi is not on the bed.He quickly look over to the bathroom door and run toward it fast.

"Yoongi hyung!Open the door!" Jungkook shout as he don't like when Yoongi locked himself in the bathroom like this.

"Jungkook,what happen why are you shouting?" Namjoon and the others walk in panic to find Jungkook was struggling with the door knob as its locked.

"Yoongi hyung is locking himself again hyung!" Jungkook said worry.Jin as the older,walk toward the door as Jungkook give him space.

"Yoongi...are you alright?Can you open the door for hyung?" Jin said softly as he knocked the door gently.

"Please..leave me alone.." Just then Yoongi reply as his voice seems fading away.

"Min Yoongi..this is not a joke.Open this door up." Namjoon said stern.

"Please...let me go..I don't wanna to burden the group anymore...Everything is my faults..I'm so ..so sorry.." Yoongi said later few sobs followed.

"Yoongi hyung..what are you talking about...please...open this up...we can sort it out..hyung...please..." Jungkook said as tears fall out of his eyes because Yoongi voice sound so weak and sad.

"You guys....you are..the best thing that ever happen..to me..you know..right?" Yoongi said as he try to not cry but he can't.Inside he was slicing his own skin,opening his left and right wrist all together.Not even care if he mess the floor or anyone will know about his cutting habits.All he want now is not to feel anything.Not even the pain in his heart or the thoughts in his mind,or anything.He just want the pain,to be gone.

"Hyung,open up,open the damn fucking door!" Taehyung said cursing as he can't take it anymore.Yoongi behaviour is worrying everyone and nobody can't seem to stop crying especially Jungkook that was getting sooth by Jimin.

"I wanna go..far..far away....So nobody will feel burden..because of me..like the ARMY's said,I don't matter." Yoongi said as he laugh while crying as he look to the ceiling in the bathroom as his body was laying against the wall.

"Hyung..what are you talking about,you does matter to me,to us,to ARMY's to your parents,to everyone!We need you here.Please don't talk like this." Hoseok said as he cry.

"You push everyone away,every time we tried to help and ask what's wrong.You hurt maknae feeling every time he try to care about you.You run away from Jin hyung when he was just trying to ask why and comfort you.We are all,worried about you!But,you never let us near you,never open up about anything to us and why is that hyung?" Jimin ask angry that Yoongi was letting and hiding himself in the darkness but he refuse to let anyone help him.

"Yeah..It's my faults...so don't worry..I'm sorry for make everyone worried.Don't be anymore..I'll...be..fine..later.." Yoongi said as the darkness was about to knock him off.

"Yoongi?Yoongi?Hey Min Yoongi!?" Namjoon shout as they heard no more reply from the inside.

"Yoongi hyung open the damn fucking door!" Everyone shout as everybody try to knock open the door together.

"Yoongi please open this door!" Jin said panic as they can't heard any voices anymore.

'I'm sorry...everyone....'

~TO BE CONTINUE~
💮 Author notes : "She's so beautiful yet so sad.Always saying no one will ever love her,and yet when somebody tells her that they love her,she runs and hides.Silly girl,they love you.You just don't love yourself." Oh my God,this poems just hit me so bad.I love you guys!This is for you too! 💮