Preciously Broken

CHAPTER 25

Chapter 25
Stressed and Failing

Failing not falling. Yes, this past few days I've been feeling na bakit parang lagi akong talo, laging lugi or kulelat. Ewan ko ba.

I was asked to run for a position sa student council namin sa school at ngayon pa lang nakikita kita ko na ang pagkatalo ko. So I didn't join nalang.

I've tried to lead them noong freshmen pero for them it didn't work so ano pang purpose to try once again kaya I'm somehow down.

I like serving for other people, noong bata nga ako I wished to be the president but I don't like the thought of pursuing law so I stayed in journalism, I like this also which is making me happy.

Also, I'm stressing out with my acads ang hirap imaintain ang pagiging dean's lister lalo if the people surrounding you 'di din nakatutulong. Ang hirap maka-uno parang kailangan ko pa siguro tumambling or kung ano ano pa para makakuha.

I remember way back in my pre-school years at the first quarter I didn't get any best or at least standing in top 5 and my mom said that she is happy that I made it through but she is sad because I don't have any ribbon so starting from that day nagsumikap ako, and I became straight A+ student, first honor, awards and so I made my parents proud.

I'm too grade conscious, I don't like incomplete materials that's why para akong naglalayas, ayaw ko ng "ata, "baka", "maybe", or "siguro" na sagot. Too perfect to see. Pero hiyang ata ako na mas nakakaalwan ako kaysa sa iba, daan ko rin para makatulong.

Here I'am enjoying myself sa Sky Lounge. Naiiyak lang ako na marami palang bagay na I didn't have the chance na makuha, or why cant I always get what I want?

Nalulungkot ako na sa isang bagay na magaling ako is the thing I failed to have. Crying because of frustration and pressure, drinking beer. Medyo OA, but that's me.

Ang upset ng pakiramdam ko. Malungkot.

Pero naisip ko baka hindi rin para sa akin ang bagay na iyon, so I'll just get back to myself and make it more bloom.

My phone rings. It is Maddox.

"Saan ka?" Tanong niya.

Napahagulhol nalang ako, 'di na halos makapagsalita.

"Okay ka lang ba? Pupuntahan kita." He said. I just continued to weep.

There nasa rooftop, he really knows me, the good place where we can bring out everything.

He just hugged me tightly habang ako iniiyakan ang polo niya. Nakahihiya.

"Okay lang 'yan. You don't need to be upset. Your acads are stressing you out 'di mo na kailangan ng isa pang stress besides you became a leader since you studied maybe it is time for you to rest. Remember losing that doesn't mean you're not enough, it means you're more than enough and you need to rest naman. So please stop crying na. Also, don't think negatively." Pagpapatahan niya.

Dala ko rin 'yung panyo na inabot niya noong unang nakita niya akong umiiyak sa rooftop.

"Iniiyakan mo na naman 'yang panyo ko ah?" Ngiti niya.