Adapting and Conquering (The story of Bertha's rise and fall)

Chapter Eight

When I get home, I try to pretend like I'm doing nothing wrong, but guilt is eating away at my exposed kneecaps.

Screw it, I think. I'm wearing these shorts to school tomorrow whether my mom likes it or not. She is NOT going to dictate what I do.

I spent the next hour admiring myself in the mirror, because I've never looked so good in my life. Dang, Heather and Katie have skills. There's no way Jacob can ignore me now!

I was laying in my bed, very relaxed when I heard the front door open and heard my mom call "Bertha I'm home! I brought cookies home!"

I gasped when I realized I was still in the shorts that Heather had given me. I yelled in a panicked voice "Just a minute Mom!" I sprinted to grab my old boys basketball shorts from the floor, threw the short shorts under my bed and just finished pulling on a hat to hide my highlights when my mom throws open the door. I grin widely and try to ignore the guilt racking my mind. I try to inconspicuously push the shorts further under my bed.

My mom looks at me with a concerned expression on her face and asks "Are you okay Bertha?"

I nod vigorously and push her out the door. "Yeah I'm fine!"

"Bertha! Do not push me!" She squeals. "I need to talk to you!"

I sigh. "What mom?" I glance in the mirror quickly to see if anything new is noticeable.

Perfect, the baseball cap casts just the right amount of shade on my face to hide the makeup, which I never intend to wash off.

She pushes the door open and plops herself onto my bed, tossing the cookies next to her. "You know, I remember when you were little. You used to tell me everything. What happened?"

"Gosh, I don't know mom..." I'm still standing by the door, staring at her as she gets this look on her face. "Maybe it's because you love Billy more than me? You yell at me for everything!"

I cringe as I wait for her to yell or grab my ear or something, but when a few seconds pass, and she hasn't done so, I tentatively peek out from underneath my eyelashes. I'm surprised to see her eyes filling up with tears.

"Oh honey! Why would you think that? I love you both the same!" She tries to pull me in for a hug and I struggle against it. I don't want her hugs. I need to be strong. I trip as I'm struggling and roll off of her lap onto the ground.

"Oww mom! Look what you did!" I say.

"Honey, I'm so sorry!' she says. She suddenly turns into a snivelling, drippy mess. "It's just Billy n-needs so much M-m-more attention! He's-He's younger!"

"No Mom. I'm still a kid. I'm still your daughter. I need attention too. Do you know how it feels to be hated on and ignored everyday by your own mother?!?" And suddenly I'm crying too. I struggle to sit up. "Billy hates me, you hate me..." I wail.

"Oh I'm so sorry honey! I-I-I-I've failed as a motherrrrr!" She wails. "P-p-plea-please forg-g-give meeee!"

"Mom it's okay! I forgive you! I just want to be loved too!" I say.

"Let me help you up, boo boo" she coos.

As she helps me up, I notice that the velcro from my shoes is sticking to the jeans, and it pulls the shorts from under the bed. She notices the shorts too.

"Honey! I love you sugar bear, but don't leave your clothes on the ground." My mom begins to fold it, but she frowns a little. "I never bought you these! They're so short! Where did you get them?" Before I can say anything, her eyes fly to my hat and she whips it off my head, revealing my highlights and makeup. "Bertha! Why-"

"Shut up mom! Shut up! You never let me do anything. I'm never allowed to change it up a little! You aren't helping me or protecting me from anything if that's what you think! You just want plain old boring Bertha! So just SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I run out of the room, crying, and bump into Billy. I grab him by the hair and yank him out of the way. "I HATE you, you stupid brat! You make my life miserable!" I run into the bathroom and lock the door.

I pull my diary out of its nook under the loose tile under the rug, along with a pen. I hide it in here so Billy doesn't find it. You have no idea of the limits that boy goes to. He once teared up my wallpaper to try to find it, and when he didn't he started crying and blamed it on me.

I write the date on the top of the page, and realize no one is banging on the door. No one is coming for me. No one cares.

No one understands me. Jacob will never like me. Delaney will always make my life miserable. I will always be the third wheel of Heather and Katie's friendship... if I'm even a wheel in it. I crumple up the paper and throw it in the garbage. I don't know what to write. I don't know what to do.

I try again to write my feelings, but all I get is I hate everyone before the tears start flowing again and the paper is so damp with all the tears that the words leak everywhere on the paper and the it curls up.

So I curl up too, in the corner of the bathtub, crying silently into the night, trying to ignore the cold of the night, but mostly the sadness and loneliness.

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There we go! I promised a long chapter! As always, stick with the story, it gets juicy! Please please please tell your friends about this I would love it!

comments, read, and all that shizz is totally welcome.