Lost and Found

(18) Chivalrous

Sage was sighing deeply again. His eyes again were nowhere and his face was just neutral. But I can sense that what I asked was troubling him. I think it was a memory he may be don't want to resurface.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked. I didn't know." I apologized almost quietly.

"No it's fine. It was just someone I used to know." He chuckled but I didn't. Nothing is humorous. When I didn't said something back, he looked at his wrist watch and got the paddle back to the waters. "It's getting late, we should probably head out."

I just nodded, unable to shake the feeling of conscience away from me. As he paddled, ripples of water vibrated against the boat. Still, the water was clear. Fishes swam under us making me smile a little. Despite the fact that the atmosphere around was silent, I managed to ease my mind a little bit from that nagging feeling of sadness.

When we docked, as gentlemanly and chivalrous as he can be, he held a hand for me. Surely it's getting dark. I don't know what the exact time is, maybe it's almost 5:30ish.

Sage was still silent. He didn't utter a single word for me. I wanted to ask what happened but I just kept my mouth shut. Time will come he will share something. After all, everyone needs a friend to share our brokenness inside. And maybe, just maybe, I am the one he needs. But no matter how silent he was, the way he held my hand was enough. I hope he knows that I am a friend. His hand held against mine firmly, as if he was afraid I would soon vanish away.

I want his touch against my palm. And it makes my skin tingle.

Lisa and his husband greeted us in the side porch with smiles on their faces. They were standing on the sliding glass door, looking at us adorably. Maybe they thought the tour to the lake changed something between us. Technically, it did change something. Only that it wasn't probably what they were hoping for.

When we arrived, Sage kissed her grandmother in her cheeks making her blush a little. His grandfather just hugged him and tapped his back. Looking at them made me a little envious. Sage has a family while mine is away. I didn't even know my dad at all. Even if these were his grandparents, they look like his real parents.

I avoided looking at them in the end. Instead, I looked at the surrounding around us as it swayed against the cold wind. Good thing I wore long sleeved shirt, or else I would be chattering my ass off.

"Dear, we would like to invite you to dinner tonight." Lissa said, which I didn't notice who was standing beside me.

I smiled and nodded. Who would refuse a scrumptious homemade meal? This would be probably the closest to family gathering I've been in my life.

"Can I ask you something?" I looked at her and saw her looking at my eyes too.

"Sure Lissa." I replied.

She hesitated a bit. But then she blew her question towards me.

"Did... did Sage tell you about the girl?"

Part of me wanted to know what are they talking about but part of me knows now. Even if I didn't catch the whole story. It will be the same girl Lissa mistakenly took me as the girl Sage talked about too. So I nodded. Confusion clouded me but I won't ask anymore. It's their story to tell in the right time.

"Oh." Is all she said. She sighed and slowly walked beside me towards inside.

What's with Sage's family and silence?

At least the dinner wasn't silent. Eventually, Lissa didn't press on anymore about the 'girl' which I found that I am getting curious to. It was nothing that I expected. They were laughing and chatting off about Sage's former life (like when he was a kid and he had sh*t on his father's chest). Lissa didn't mind that we were eating, as long as the tension would ease a lot. And I found myself laughing with them too, not caring as if the topic was gross enough to make others haul up. But I guess this family may be used to this kind of talks.

John was ecstatic of the whatabouts my life. I had to fair a share about mine because it felt it would be unfair for Sage's part. He was all embarrassed and and was reddening from all those what his grandmama has spilled. So I decided to save him by giving John a 'help me' look.

"So Hannah, where are you from?" John asked looking at me intently. I mouthed him thank you.

Lissa's attention was then turned to me leaving Sage alone.

"Oh, just a couple miles away from here. Minnesota." I answered.

"May I know your family?" Lissa eagerly asked. Her eyes was dripping with determination yet there was a hint of glee from it. It's as if she was excited to know me.

I smiled at her and nodded.

"Sure. I uh, it's just me and my mother. I'm an only child and my mom's kinda not around always. She's working for FBI." Well, that's the truth. I do want to keep a secret about my mother's job but I think it would be fine. Sage's family is harmless, I think.

"Oh, well... how about your..." Lissa trailed a little bit, became hesitant but I gave her the look that she can go on. I know what she wanted to ask. "...your father?"

My father. There's nothing much to talk about him. He's just someone my mother fell and got crazy with leaving her with nothing but loads of sperm in her uterus. And then poof, I came! Although she didn't told me how jerk he was but it was clear enough the way she looked disgusted everytime I asked about him.

I don't know why he left. My mother was stable on her career. The money that came from her was enough to support me. It won't matter if my father would do Mom's job as a mother. But he lacked balls to take his responsibility for the both of us.

I know Mom is strong enough. She should be. But I can't help but stare at her blue eyes the sadness. She's still hurt.

That's why I loath him.

"I don't know him." I replied coldly even if I didn't mean to. I guess I can't help it.

"I'm sorry... oh dear." Lissa apologized, her voice filled with worry and remorse.

I can't help it but the tears started to fall down on my cheeks. This was ridiculous! I am crying because of a male specie whom I didn't even knew nor saw but the truth is, I long for him.

I wiped the tears on my cheeks before it would start to fall rapidly. I don't want to cry while there's a delicious homemade food in front of me.

"It's okay. I'm sorry." I laughed. "God, I'm such crybaby."

The tension eased when Lissa changed the subject. Her and John have been married for 36 years now and that Sage's father, William is their only child. Apparently, the single child curse ran through them knowing that Sage is an only child too. It's nice knowing we have something in common, at least I'm not the only one wanting to have a younger sibling.