Falling Backwards

What a Day

Month: Still the beginning of August. Picked up right where we left off.

ROCKY'S POV

Alyson's head lay asleep on me and I flipped through TV channels. She slept peacefully, and after this morning we had she needed it. My parents were cool now, I'm sure eventually they would be excited to be grandparents; we're just young. To be honest I am excited. I can't wait to hold our baby for the first time. I've always wanted to be a dad and to have kids; I just thought I would get to live out the rest of my career first. It's okay though, because everything worked exactly how it was meant to.

I was answering e-mails, a lot of them from fans about the baby. I sent out an announcement. I was going to post it soon, so here I write, "I have the most wonderful girl in the world sleeping on my chest right now. We're about to have our own apartment, we're going to look for our first house. We're going to have a baby. We don't know what it is yet. We find out in September. Thank you all for your supportive messages, because we love you all and depend on you. Please continue to send your happy messages, as it gives us so much joy to see you happy for us. As far as we know, tour will continue as usual with our central and west coast in November. Now, for a little info, Baby Lynch is happy and healthy. She/he is 9 cm long, just a little bigger than avocado, and has hair, eyelids, and eyebrows. She/he is due at the beginning of February. Thanks to everyone for their positivity and we love you, ❤️ Rocky and Alyson."

I sent it; immediately getting thousands of responses in return. Everyone was so supportive and happy. There were some negative ones also, but that was to be expected. I was okay because we were okay. Alyson stirred and opened her eyes. "Hi baby," she said to me. "Sleep well?" I asked her. She nodded, "I did," she sat up and looked at her phone. She read my message to everyone, "You're so cute." She kissed me, "I love you," "I love you too," I said to her.

We got up and fixed salads for lunch, she only took a few bites before her stomach wouldn't let her eat anymore. She was so strong and wonderful and here she is so sick all the time, but still going about her day, caring for herself and our baby.

The door opened and Riker and Kay came in quietly. "Hey guys," I said, they were so quiet. Kay just looked at Alyson, with an attitude, of course. "What... What is it?" I looked at Riker, who came up to me. "We,uh," he paused, trying to breathe. "Ugh, Riker," Kay said, "Just say it!" She sounded pissed. "What?" I said to him, "Man, what is it?" Riker just looked at me, "The baby had, um," he started getting teary eyed, "It's not um," he couldn't finish. Kay rolled her eyes, "There was no heartbeat." She said matter of factly. Alyson gasped, "What?"

Kay nodded, but she didn't seem sad. Riker went over to her to hug her, but she pushed him away. "Riker go, just go wipe your face or something," she waved him off. Riker turned to me, "I'm gonna step out on the porch," He said to us, and I nodded, "I'll join you in a minute bro,"

Kay sat on the bar. Alyson was in tears, "What the hell was that Kay? You're just going to wave him away after all he's done for you the past few weeks?" she just looked at us. I held Alyson, although she pulled away a little, I held her close. "I just," Kay shrugged, "Now, we don't have to worry about it!" did she have no heart? "Do you have no heart??" Alyson asked her, wow thinking alike. Alyson turned and cried into my shirt, "I can't believe this," She whispered to me.

I held her and Kay walked into her room without saying anything. Alyson said she needed to talk to Kay girl to girl, and I needed to talk to Riker. We split ways.

I went to the back porch of the apartment. We were five stories up, overlooking the beach. "Hey, Rike," I said to him. He turned and wiped his eye, "Hey Rocky," he said to me. "What happened?" I asked him. He ran his hands through his hair, "We were in the office and we were holding hands. The doctor was trying to find the heartbeat on the monitor, and," he paused; I'd never seen him upset like this.

"Rocky," he cried, "I was in no place to be a parent. I was in no place to have a child of my own. I've wanted kids, but I didn't think it would happen right now, but since it did, I thought, 'Well if this is what God wants' so I went all in. I tried to make Kay happy, to be her partner and care for her, for the baby. But she doesn't care."

I put my arm around his shoulder, "Riker, it's okay to be upset," "No it's not, this wasn't planned. We weren't ready for a kid. I should be so fucking relieved that the baby isn't here, but all I feel is sadness and regret, because I feel like I could have changed it. The doctor just said its natural, it happens and he's sorry," He shook his head, "But on the way home Kay didn't even cry, Rocky. I think I heard a sigh of relief come out of her mouth. She didn't care, and she doesn't care, and I don't understand how I, the dad, can be the one who cares so much and she, who carried it for nine weeks and 5 days, can just not care at all."

We stood up, "I gave everything I had, for the past two weeks since she told me. I thought, this is my responsibility and I need to honor it." I hugged him. "Riker, I don't know what's going on in Kay's head right now. She's not heartless, but right now she sure as hell seems like it. As much as she may say she's happy it's over, or whatever, she's not 100% okay with this,"

We walked back inside and I heard crying, I was sure it was both of them. Riker got a glass of water and sat down in the living room. I knocked on Alyson's door and she answered, both of them had been sitting on the floor. "Rocky," Kay said, "I'm sorry, I've been such a jerk," I hugged her as she stood up, "It's okay." Alyson grabbed my hand, "Kay is gonna stay with Kendall for a couple of days, and when we're moved out, she's gonna ask Dyl and Ken to live here," I smiled, "That sounds like a good idea."

Alyson turned to me, "Ask Riker if he wants to live with us," I turned to her, "What?" I was puzzled, "Why?" I had brought it up previously, but she had waved the idea away, saying she wanted it to be us in the apartment together, I guessed that now since we're having a baby and moving into a house anyways, we might as well have him with us.

She nodded, "I want him here, with us, with the baby. I love him and I think it's a great idea." I smiled and kissed her, "Really?" she smiled, "really..." Kay walked into the living room and apologized to Riker. Riker forgave her and they cried together for a little bit.

I knew Kay had a heart somewhere. I felt so bad for them, and I couldn't do anything about it. They had lost their baby and we got to keep ours. Kay packed an overnight bag and went to Kendall's. Riker asked if he could stay the night with us.

"Riker," I said when it was late at night. We were all still in the living room. Alyson had fallen asleep on my chest again. "Yeah," He said calmly. "I think you should move in with us, at least until the apartment is over," He looked up, "Really?" I nodded, "When we move into our house, you can do whatever you want to. You can get your own place; you can take the apartment from us and live with Ross and Ellington."

Riker smiled, "That sounds so great," he said, getting up. "Rocky, thanks man, for everything, you and Alyson have been so great for me and to Kay and everything. I love you guys," "We love you too, man," He went to bed. I stayed in the living room a little longer before picking Alyson up and carrying her to bed.

We both lay down silent, her on her side of the bed and me on mine. I was up thinking. She rolled towards me, "Rocky," she said, whispering. "Yes babe?" I replied. "What do you think the baby is?" she giggled a soft, tired giggle and put her arms around me. I snuggled into her and she fit her head into my chest and her legs entangled with mine and we breathed together. "I don't know," I said to her, "Do you?" she smiled into my chest and looked up at me and I could see her eyes widen in the dark light.

"I think..." She said softly, "It's a boy..." she said. I smiled, "That's a good prediction, babe," I said, kissing her forehead. She pulled up to face forward with me. She kissed me and it was soft and sweet. I kissed her back and she started laughing, intertwining her arms around my waist and mine around hers as far as they could go around her.

I kissed her nose and she kissed my chin and said, "Good night, love bug," she turned around and backed into me so we pressed up against each other. I wrapped my arms around below her belly that stuck out just enough for her to be cute little pregnant Alyson. "What a day," I whispered. "Tell me about it," she sighed back. I brought my head into the crook of her neck and shoulder and set it there. I fell asleep.