Falling Backwards

We're okay.

Month: October

ALYSON'S POV

Someone knocked on my door softly. "Yes?" I answered. "Alyson, It's Rydel, can I come in?" I sighed loudly "Yeah," She entered and stood still at the door, eyeing me. I had been crying and my room was a disaster. I had laundry half folded on the floor because I couldn't finish folding it. I had found a pair of Rocky's socks in the clean part for some reason and I lost it. "Al..." She sighed, coming over to the bed.

I had one of Rocky's shirts on and shorts. My hair was in a messy bun and I had no make-up on. "Hey," I laughed. She hugged me tightly, "Hi baby," She said to my belly. She rubbed it for a second and felt her kick. "How are you?" She asked me. "I'm okay," She looked disapprovingly. "Really?" I nodded to her. "Because Riker said you have barely left your room in three days." I lay back down, "It feels like eternity."

I sigh, "All I do is go to class and come home and now it's Saturday and I won't have class for two more days so I can sulk," I closed my eyes. "Why would he do this to me?" I whined. Tears started falling without effort. It was something I was apparently good at. I never cried. I got upset or angry, but I don't cry. Damn Hormones.

She rubbed my back, "I don't know Al," she lay back next to me. "None of us have talked to him besides Ellington. I knew Ell would be the one to at least try. Riker and Ross and Ryland can be kinda stubborn." I was still crying. "He made an incredibly stupid mistake Alyson. I'm not justifying it and I'm certainly not asking you to forgive him, but I need to hear the full story at some point and maybe you do too." "Maybe," I whispered. "How is Ell by the way?" She smiled, "He's good. We've been talking about telling the family, I don't know if this is the perfect time, but we thought maybe it'd take some of the heat off of Rocky. He's got a lot he's dealing with right now." I nodded, "I know,"

Riker knocked and brought soup, "Here you go," He said, setting it on the side table. Ross moved into the room slowly, "Long time no see," he said, hugging me. I guessed he had come over with Rydel. He sat down on the bed with us and Riker. "Rike, Ross" I said. "Yes?" Riker responded and Ross looked at me. I knew he saw tears and sadness in my eyes. "Will you two and Rydel come with me to Rocky's tomorrow?" Ross looked down. "Tomorrow?" Riker asked. "Yes," I whispered.

I couldn't believe what I was saying. I was devastated and so hurt and yet I wanted to go see him and talk to him about it. As mad and upset as I was, all I wanted was to go hug him and kiss him and tell him I loved him, because I couldn't stop loving him. I wanted to hate him for what he did, but I knew in my heart he didn't do it in spite, and I needed to hear that from him.

Rydel cleared her throat, "Are you sure?" she asked. I nodded into my pillow. I sat up, sniffling and wiping my eyes. "I am. I need to hear this story and get it over. I need to move through this, whether Rocky and I stay together or not, because this baby cannot come into our lives with this, it needs to be in the past and it needs to be forgotten." Ross nodded, "I can," "Me too," Riker said. "I guess I can go," Rydel replied, "I can't tell you how calm I'll be," "Same with me," Ross said. I looked at all of them, "Just promise you won't yell," They all looked at me and promised. I fell back onto my pillow.

"Alyson," Ross paused, "I have a question and I'm not sure if you know the answer," I sat up, "Try me." He sighed, "Do you want to get back together with him?" I looked down and my eyes filled with tears. "I didn't mean to upset you so bad, aw, Alyson," "No, no," I said as Rydel pulled me into a hug. "I'm okay," I replied softly. "I, I don't know," I said slowly. "I mean, I want to know what happened first of all. I want to apologize for yelling and telling him he was a failure in our relationship." Riker spoke, "You don't have to apologize Alyson," "But I want to," I continued. "Guys, I don't want her to grow up in a broken, screwed up home. I also don't want her to grow up in a home where a mother and a father are together, but don't love each other." I sighed, "I can forgive Rocky. I can trust Rocky. This only happened because we were apart, but I know we can fix this, if it works that way. I first really want to know what happened."

"I understand," Ross said. He got up and hugged me goodbye and he and Rydel had to go run an errand. Riker and I ate our soup and had lain on the bed, watching stupid reality shows. It was the first time we'd spent together since everything had happened. I had missed his comfort a lot. He left to go to bed at 10 and told me we'd leave at 10 am to go to Rocky's. I didn't sleep very much out of sheer nervousness. I couldn't stop thinking of horrible scenarios of him cheating, and how terrible it was. I psyched myself out for sure.

After my night of tossing and turning I woke up at 8:30 to shower and get dressed. I met everyone in the living room and grabbed breakfast. I tried to look cute and put together so I could show Rocky I was really doing okay, although if he had seen me the day before, he would know I wasn't really okay.

The hotel was big and further away from us. We went to the top floor and Riker knocked. My heart was beating out of my chest and the door opened. "Hey, guys," He said, letting everyone in. I was at the back and when he saw me his face dropped. "Hi," I said to him. "Hey," He said, barely above a whisper. I sat down in between Ross and Riker on the couch, like they were my bodyguards. Ratliff had been over so he was sitting by Rydel and they were talking. Rydel was keeping watch on me to make sure I was okay and I appreciated it.

Rocky started talking and spared no details. He knew I liked to know everything. "And then she left and I was freaking out," he said. He had avoided my eyes but now he was looking right at me, "This was the biggest mistake I had ever made, and my only thought was you, baby," He said to me. "I knew I had hurt you so badly and I knew you would never forgive me. I love you so much and I don't ever want to lose you and I want to talk about this."

I was crying of course. "Rocky, I love you, but I need to trust you, and I believe you honestly and truly." I sat back, thinking. Ross and Riker said they believed him and one by one the siblings forgave him. Ryland wasn't there to forgive, and from what I had heard from Ross, Ry had really yelled at Rocky in the car. Riker put his arm around me and whispered in my ear, "We'll be in the next room if you need us," He got up and Ross side hugged me, getting up as well. Rydel and Ratliff got up too.

He had his head in his hands. "I would never do anything to purposely hurt you, Alyson," he said to me. "But you left?" I snapped to him. "Rocky, you left me alone with a baby inside of me, your baby!" I said getting teary eyed yet again. "I know, and it was stupid, but I don't know what the hell I'm doing. You knew everything and you got it all and you had a plan and I had no plan." "You don't have to Rocky, It's all trying." He nodded, "I know, but I wasn't ready to be a father. I still don't know if I'm ready." I looked into his eyes, "Well, I'm sure as hell not 100% ready to be a mother, but I can't run away from something growing inside of me."

"I'm sorry," he said to me, "I didn't mean it like that," I sighed, "Its okay." He put his hands together. "Alyson, I can't lose you, baby, you're the best thing to ever happen to me. You're the love of my life and I could never love anyone as much as I love you, except maybe that little girl inside of you," I smiled at him. "I love you too," I whispered, getting up. I walked across room a little ways and sat on the couch next to him. He grabbed my hand, "I want to work on this," I said to him. "I want to do more than work on it," he replied.

"Alyson, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have a baby girl with you. I want to marry you and build a home and more kids and my career and your career and everything. I love you so much. I am so sorry for every single thing I've done to hurt you and anything I will ever do that will ever hurt you, except I never want to hurt you again." I leaned into him and smiled softly, "I love you, and I'm sorry I told you that you were a failure; I'm sorry for not listening to you when you tried to explain what happened, and I'm so sorry for yelling at you and telling you that you weren't ready, because I'm not ready either, love." I said quietly. I scooted closer to him and he put his hand under my chin and kissed me.O felt the sparks I felt when we first kissed. I pressed back against his lips and smiled. "I missed that so much," he whispered to me. "Me too," I said, intertwining our fingers together and kissing him again.

"Are y'all good?" Ellington asked from the door way, they were all standing there watching us. "We stopped hearing talking and we thought y'all were dead or something." He laughed. "Yeah," I said, looking at Rocky, "I think we're okay,"

A/N

Yay! Happy ending for nowwww.

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alli xx.