tw: mention of suicide
•
giovanni | vanadis
•
"hi, this is i scream ice scream delivery, we aim to bring delight to your home! how can—"
"i thought i was talking to my girlfriend."
"excuse me, what?"
"i thought i was talking to my girlfriend when i first called you."
"Oh hi there, fuck addict."
he frowned,
"what?"
"i said hi there, fuck addict."
"what did you just call me?"
"fuck addict. Because you're addicted to the word 'fuck'. Would you prefer I call you fucktard, instead?"
he chuckled,
"not funny, feisty."
"okay stop calling me that."
"only if you'd stop calling me fuck addict."
She devilishly laughed,
"okay fine, fucktard."
"so you like games now, huh?"
"hahahaha yeah yeah, i'll stop. what were we talking about, again?"
"i thought i was talking to my girlfriend when i first called you."
"what, i thought you're looking for a girlfriend...?"
"i was supposed to add something after that first sentence. it was supposed to be 'i want a fucking girlfriend. not a whore.' if you only didn't interrupt me—"
"wait... back up a sec... calling a girl a whore? you better have a good reason for that, buddy."
"just so you know, i'm not that guy who walks around slut-shaming women and then calls it a joke. my parents raised me right."
"well, what's the 'whore' for, then?"
"i was just... really pissed."
"what did little miss whore do now?"
"so nosy, aren't you?"
"that's my middle name."
"i caught her cheating for the third time—"
"what?!"
"—in a month."
"WHAT?!"
"i told you i had a reason."
"WAIT WHAT—are you telling me you're a martyr?" she laughed unbelievingly. "your girlfriend cheated on you three times? are you kidding me? that's not whore. that's TRASH."
he snorted,
"look at you. a minute ago you were just about to bite my head off from hearing me call a girl a whore."
"people change, my friend. what are you gonna do with your life, then? just so you know... suicide is not the answer..."
"for fuck's sake, i am not committing suicide."
"that's how usual break-ups go nowadays."
"i do not belong to the 'usual', then."
"good, good. as much as i hate talking to you, i wouldn't want you dead."
he laughed,
"you hate talking to me? we better change that now, feisty."
"ah, we're back to the nicknames. and this is exactly why i hate talking to you."
"and i'm telling you that's gonna change, feisty."
"excuse me but my mother didn't push me out of her uterus and decide to name me 'vanadis' just for you to call me 'feisty'."
he licked his lower lip unconsciously. vanadis. "so... vanadis, huh?"
"i go by 'van'. i feel like the name vanadis belongs to some badass main character in a fantasy book where she's hired as an assassin by the prince and over time, they fall in love with each other."
"that's some real imagination you got there, vanadis."
"and you? i never got to know your name, fuck addict."
"i'm giovanni."
she bit her cheek unconsciously. giovanni. "giovanni..."
"i go by 'van'. i feel like the name giovanni would belong to that prince you were talking about earlier."
"wait... you're kidding."
"..."
"we have the same nicknames..."
he chuckled.
"yeah. i thought so, too."
"this is such a coincidence!"
"you can call it fate, you know."
she scoffed, a smile teasing at her lips.
"dream on, giovanni."
YOU ARE READING
The I Scream Talk ✓
Short Storyin which a famous football quarterback decided to break up with his girlfriend over the phone. the girl who answered wasn't his girlfriend. • "Hi, this is-" "I want a fucking girlfriend." "..." "..." "Well, as far as I can remember, I'm not an escor...
