What Happened Last Summer (Boy×Boy)

Chapter Nine: Priceless Antiques

I'll talk to him, Andy told himself for the past three days, trying to encourage himself. But it wasn't working, not able to go up to Shawn and just admit to him him being here sucked, and seeing his face reminded him of every moment they spent together last summer.

A very tired Andy-because he spent all night thinking how to approach Shawn without making it awkward-roamed the halls. He opened his locker an another note fell out. Exhausted, also finding this a bit annoying, he reached down to pick up the note.

"You hold me together, and for that reason exactly is why my heart is frightened."

This. . . This is an odd one, but he couldn't help to find that sentence familiar. He didn't let it bother him though, instead, Andy shoved the note in his backpack and forgot about it, too tired to even bother. But he would get to it, eventually. The bell rang an Andy groaned, dragging his feet to class.

Derek never asked about Andy and Shawn, or why Andy hasn't confronted Shawn at all since he came back in Andy's life. Andy found that strange; what boyfriend wouldn't want to know about his boyfriend's ex? Andy's head began to hurt, and he suddenly wasn't hungry, pushing his tray of lunch away. Derek looked at him.

"You look like a mess Andy." Derek looked around, no sign of Shawn, but Marilyn was there, sitting at a table, alone and poking at her lunch.

"Gee, thanks." Andy spat sarcasm.

"When's the last time you slept?"

"I sleep every night."

"No, I mean, when's the last time you had a decent night's sleep?"

Andy didn't reply, thinking for a couple seconds. He nodded, then shrugged. "I'm fine, okay?"

"If you say so. Just- You don't need to prove yourself, Andy. You don't need to talk to him, you can choose to not let him get to you."

Andy looked down at his cafeteria pizza. He knew Derek was right, but still, it got to him. The fact Shawn is here, and he's been trying to ignore it, but it always got him so angry, so upset. He was tired; mentally and physically. "Yeah. . . I guess."

"Andy?" Derek said, voice filled with sincerity.

"Hmm?" Andy turned.

"Never mind." Derek held a doubtful tone.

Andy never talked to Shawn that day, even after all the time he spent thinking about how to talk to him, how to approach him. Approach? Why would he want to approach someone he hates? No, he doesn't hate Shawn, that was a total lie he couldn't make himself believe. And Shawn never got him anger, Shawn just brought up old memories. Why didn't I tell Derek about that one time on the bleachers with Shawn? Was it meaningless? No, it was meaningful.

Andy had confused himself, his brain fading away and his heart taking over, and those memories, those old, dirty memories had him tearing up and crying. Maybe life was just a book, maybe he wanted life to be a book, where he wanted to make things more difficult for himself. Tears fell to the back of his cheeks and soaked into his hair. It hurt to think about all those memories, those priceless antiques.

He couldn't think about anything else, about anyone else. Those words, that note. Andy Miller had realized where he had heard that damned sentence from.

* * * * *

It was yet another day with peaceful reading, surrounded by the waves and sunshine, and once in awhile, the sqwaking of seagulls. Andy's and Shawn's body had been laying in the warm sand, Andy's head upon Shawn's chest as he read to him.

"You hold me together, and for that reason exactly is why my heart is frightened." Andy read his favorite quote from Filthy Casuals to Shawn.

"Why that one?" Asked Shawn.

"There's nothing more frightening than loosing what keeps you from falling apart."

It was quiet for those few seconds, a silence that held them together in thoughts, the whole idea of this story, how crazy it had been to read something like this, a journey like this. Andy knew Shawn admired it, bit probably not as much as Andy did himself. He continued reading.

* * * * *

How could he be so stupid?! It was in front of his face all that time! Angrily, drying his tears with his hand, Andy got up and off his bed, and grabbed his backpack. He opened it and took out all the notes he's received-they were all in the same handwriting, all about him and no indication of Derek. He couldn't believe, he didn't want to believe it. Andy was right, Shawn is still in love with him. He through the notes in the air, now scattered around his room.

It had been almost an hour, an Andy just sat on his bed, the notes around him; some under him, too. His phone rang, it was Derek, Andy didn't answer; His phone beeped, it was Derek, he didn't reply to the message. This was crazy, this had to be Derek. But no, it couldn't have because only Andy knew about this book, this was his book and no one else's-except for Shawn.

Andy had packed up the notes and tossed them inside a trash bin in the corner of his room, deciding to throw them away for good or set them on fire. He couldn't bring himself to do either of them. Andy fell back on his bed, sighing. Derek was right, Shawn had gotten to him, had him wrapped around him. Andy had realized-and yes, maybe he never stopped-he's still in love with Shawn, too. But that's when he got a message on his phone.

Party at Donny Lee's house! Be there this Saturday night!

Oh, yeah. Andy is definitely going to that party.