Calpurnia || Finn Wolfhard x Reader

my mental health

Mild trigger warning for depression

from a young age I've had signs of depression and anxiety.

i feel it everyday

inside and out

things have gotten bad
to the point where
i've thought about relapsing
into my eating disorder
& cutting

my mom says I'm faking
but she has gotten help for my sister
she tells me that my sister was different

she says that I've gotten better
over the years
but the truth is
i've just gotten better at hiding it

my theatre career
that my mom say will go no where
has helped me through this

to help me hide how i'm truly feeling from others

i am opening up to you guys about this because there are some days I wake up
and i wish i didn't 
and I just feel
tired
useless
heavy
so i just lay there
looking at the ceiling
watching the fan spin
counter clockwise
with tears streaming down my face
and muffled sobs
silently fill the room
nothing.
can fill the void in me.

there are times where
I will be sitting
with my friends at a party
having a blast
then im on the floor
hyperventilating

and it will be hard for me to write some days or weeks.

thank you for understanding.  and if you think it's a stunt please keep the attention whore comments to yourself
im going to try and put my next
part out later today or tomorrow

~kiley