Blogs about my life

Problems

Do any of you ever feel like shutting out the world and camping out in your room? Well today is that day, but I can't have that day, because I have responsibilities. I'm getting so ticked off lately. My mom doesn't hear me the first time I say something so I have to repeat it, which is so annoying, and I don't have the engery to do that. Then I accidentally let Sammy (our puppy) out and my sister freaks out. "Great, now we can't leave." Is what she said to me. Ugh, I was just doing what I was told to do. Anyways that really got me really ticked off so I shouted that I don't care anymore. Then I went off to my room, watching Sketch feeling guilty. Once I'm mad or have to do something that I don't want to- both in this case- I have to build up my motivation and confidence to do it or come back down. So I said to myself that I was going to come down after I watched the video or when I couldn't take it anymore. Of course my mom cuts off my internet which makes me even more mad, plus I don't even want to come down after that because I don't want to and I like to show my strength of how long I can last. Now I'm listening to the nightcore version of angel with a shotgun, thinking about my feelings. I swear I'm feeling every single emotion that you could think of.

Okay, so my mom, wait no sister who turned out to be my mom asked me a couple questions.

Mom: Madaline is your brother okay?
Me: Yes.
Mom: Are you with him?
Me: No. (I assumed that he was watching TV. I was right btw.)
Mom: Madaline you better be with him!!
Me: He's probably watching TV. (I trust him)
Mom:I'm very mad at you.
Me: Oh, trust me, I am too.
Mom: We are having another talk once we get home.
Me: *very loudly and sarcastically* Oh, joy another talk, I'm soo excited.
Mom: I love you. (I feel like it was slightly sarcastic)
Me: *stays on for a few secs silent*
Mom: *hangs up*

Yeah, that was the basis of our conversation. My dad finally came home so I'm back in my room. The girl that I babysat last night is spending the night with us, so I have to pull myself together and be there when her mom gets here.

I feel like crying now. Let's just say that sometimes I reimagine events, and it's not a very happy one either way.

I had a dream the other night, and I always like to belevie that dreams have powerful meanings, but that one made me realize something. It finally made me admit to myself something. The hardest part is sharing it and telling it. I have a feeling I will soon...

I have been listening to that song for an hour now. You guys remember my last song obsession was with "lovesick"? (That has gone) Well if I put it up at the top then you may have figured it out already considering what it's about.

Well my mom gave me the internet back so I'm gonna watch yt. Or they just got here. Gtg, bye