Not in a million years -Jihope [COMPLETED]

Chapter 11

Hoseok

"See, he wants to talk to me."

No I do not, Namjoon, why are you being like this. Just back off.

"You're making it worse!"

I looked at Jimin, surprised to see him take on this new role of being angry, i've never seen this in my life. My mouth opened agape, and my eyes were widening by the second.

"Woah Jimin, calm down."

"No' I wont calm down! I just wanted to talk to Hoseok, and you.. You're.. You're just trying to stop me! I just wanted to know if Hoseok was okay! I know your his best friend, but.."

He really wants to talk to me? Really? Park Jimin... You.. Why.. You leave me so confused..

"But what?"

"But.. I'm just.. Trying.. To be a good friend... But.. I guess im just in the way.... Right?"

Jimin, in the way?!

"What? No!?"

Jimin could never be in the way! Not in a million years!

I heard Jimin's slight chuckle, but it wasn't a chuckle of happiness, it was more like 'if I laugh everything's okay, it doesn't matter, does it?'

"It's not the first time that i'd be in the way, I was always in the way with my parents. So how is it any different now."

Sadness.

Sadness is the only emotion I could feel right now, I've never known this about Jimin, it looks like we were all hiding things.

"Namjoon, please, leave? I.. Need to talk to Jimin, please?"

Namjoon nodded, understanding, he then walked away.

"Jimin... Please... Don't feel like that... It kills me to know how bad you feel, it really does.."

Jimin lifted his head up to meet directly with my eyes. The sadness was like it was pouring our of his eyes, not just showing inside of them.

"Does it... Because it also hurts me to see you sad.. I've never seen you sad before.."

I shook my head, and I reached down to hold Jimin's hands in my own, I rubbed circles in his palms, to try to calm him down.

"..Jimin.. You don't need to worry about me, right now... In this very momment, you're the one who needs to be cared for.."

Jimin shook his head, sadly.

"You tell me not to worry about you, but I still do... Hoseok.. For some reason...-"

I cut him off, I felt now was the perfect time to say what had been building up inside of my body for ages.

"You're the one always on my mind, Jimin.. Nobody else. Not even my parents. I'm always thinking about you Jimin, and I can't stop. Just about 30 minutes ago, sat around that table, my mind, it was crazy about you. I was dreaming, about you. And in the toilets? When I was throwing up. All I could think about was you, even though you were right there with me. Jimin.. You would never understand. It's not simple, it's not something I can push to the back of my head, because when I do that, another thought of you springs its way forward, taking over my mind. Jimin..."

I paused, and laughed slightly.

"Im crazily mad about you Jimin, I have been, for a while. But i've never said anything untill now, because it was too much."

"Hoseo-"

"I just.... I.. I dont even know how to explain it.. It's the best feeling in the world, and also the worst... A whole lot of the time I just want to walk up to you and hug you, I want to stand by you. I want to love you... But then.. I realise, you'd never like me back, you've never been out with a guy, so me liking you is just another disappointment because it's never going to happen.. You're never going to love me the same way that I love you. Jimin... I love you, not just a tiny bit... I love you so much... That it hurts. It kills me, because I can't do anything about it.. My heart? It's hurting now, the realisation and sadness taking over my body... Because i'll always love you... But you'll never love me..."

"Hos-"

"It's like... I want to be with you so bad... That it physically hurts, knowing that I can't.."

At this point I realised that salty tears were already streaming down my face, and Jimin's face, he didnt look happy.

"See! That look! You probably think I'm disgusting, how would you, ever be with me... Thats probably what you're thinking, right?"

"Hoseok!"

I stopped, I was breathing heavily, Jimin carefully wiped the tears away from my cheeks.

"Hoseok.. You should have told me how you felt..."

Jimin moved towards me, and wrapped his arms around me, enclosing me in a hug, he was warm. My heart was still beating really fast from the previous event.

"..You.. Never know... Untill you try...?"

"What does that mean...?"

"Hoseok.... Im glad to know that you like me...."

"But?"

"But, I don't know if my heart is big enough to contain so much love..theres so much.... Where do i put it all? I'll need a bigger heart to keep all of that love contained..."

Jimin smiled, his tears turned into happy tears, and just like that, the atmosphere around us was happy again.

"You're such a tease...."

Jimin laughs, and burys his face against my chest, he hugs like a koala hugging a branch. How adorable.

{Another long one~ enjoy, see you tommorow for another update about bonfire night with fireworks!}