Church Buddies!!!1

Passage 7

Joseph and Johnny were both sat in Smith's room at church, watching his TV. "So, boys, you ever thought of collecting these here Jesus Mini-figures? There's a whole holy set, including all your favourites. Jesus, Mary, Joseph.. there's probably a Judas in here somewhere.." Smith searched his collection.

"Shh! Listen." Joseph commanded, turning up the TV.

"Breaking news! There has been many murders centred around Arizona recently and the police are currently in the process of interviewing potential suspects.
Firstly, an old man was murdered in the middle of a unnamed street at around 3 in the morning, leaving the country in distress.
Not even miles from this area, a teenage girl went missing and was later found dead in a ditch, a bullet to the head.
Next, three 20 year old men went missing and have not yet been found. All of these events took place within only days of each other. There's a murderer on the loose, folks, so hide your kids and hide your wife. Don't worry about your husband."

The TV flickered off and Lake quickly rushed into the room, his wooden peg leg smacking the floor loudly. He wielded a broom and his usually pale face was red with anger and breathlessness. "These.. these boys! They're clearly the murderers!" He panted, having ran down the hall just to spill the news. "You caught the murderers?!" Johnny asked excitedly, being quickly shut down by Lake. "No! You.. you two are the murderers!"

"Lake Saldmi! These two boys are two very valuable children of God and you're calling them murderers? Sickening! Get back to your job." Smith placed down his Judas figure and pointed a angry finger to Lake. "Are you kidding me?! It's clearly them! They're the only teenage boys I know who are.." He cut himself off, looking suddenly flustered. "Yes, Lake?" Joseph asked, smirking. "B.. bl.. you know what, I don't have to justify myself. Just you wait till these two are arrested!" He looked angrily at Smith before storming out of the room.

"Good golly gosh! What on earth was that about?" Smith asked in concern. "I don't know. However, there is something I do know." Joseph stated, catching Johnny's attention. "What is it?"

"Lake is the murderer. Lake is 9000% the murderer. Think about it! He's probably racist, plus he's an angry old man who's probably lost his shit. Would any of you really be surprised?"

Half the day had passed by and the two boys were out spreading their Christian propaganda to the youth. Of course, they were situated at the local park, conversing with the children about how great God is. "He was an awesome God! He uh.. he created the world and stuff! Always remember, Adam and Eve, never Adam and Steve!" Joseph winked, flipping the page of the picture book he had created for the little kids. "Adam and Eve were a-"

Suddenly, a loud gunshot rang around the park and all of the children gasped as one fell off of the climbing frame and onto the floor. "Little Billy!" One girl shouted in distress as a pool of deep crimson blood formed around the boy's body. "Oh for fucks sake.." Joseph massaged the bridge of his nose in stress. "Look, I'm sure he'll be fine. The bible is much more important than any little snotty kids-"

"Joe, look!" Johnny pointed to none other than Lake, who was stood suspiciously a considerable distance away. He looked from left to right, before slowly stepping into the house stood behind him, locking the door once he was safe. "That bastard! Here, kids, try give your little buddy CPR if you want, we've got business to attend to.." Joseph stood angrily and stormed out of the park, slowly followed by Johnny as the children wept.

"We've gotta get the gun, Johnny. Then the police will do a report thing and find his fingerprints and arrest him and stuff. I know how it works." Joseph stood with his hands in his pockets, staring up at Lake's house. "Well how do we get in?" Johnny asked. Joseph stood in thought for a moment before being struck with an idea. He walked over to Lake's garage and wedged the door open, as the lock was already dodgy. "Poor ass can't even afford a decent Dollar Store lock.." Joseph muttered while forcing his way in.