Church Buddies!!!1

Passage 4

Joseph and Johnny were currently sat in Johnny's car, being driven out to Shanaynay's beauty pageant. Shanaynay was Johnny's older sister, one of his many siblings.

"Wanna play snap?" Johnny asked Joseph, receiving a disgusted look in return. "Where the hell did you get snap cards?" He asked. "Polly gave them to me. She found some spare ones." He started to split the cards, but was stopped by his mother, Watermeloniqua. "Hunny, put the cards down and leave your friend alone. We're here." She got out of the car and helped out Joseph, who struggled to pull himself out.

"Now, now. You tell Shanaynay I love her. I haven't seen her in years.. oh! And make sure you boys look after her. You know how sensitive she gets - with all her phobias and all." She smiled, ruffling Johnny's hair and getting back into the car, driving away quickly.

"Johnny!" Shanaynay rushed out of the large stadium and greeted him. "Come on! There's lots of contestants waiting to be judged and shamed for their looks!" She squealed, taking his hand and dragging him inside, Joseph left to slowly follow.

Upon walking inside, hundreds of contestants were lined up on different podiums, preparing themselves. Some were doing their makeup, while others were tightening their dresses. Johnny looked around in awe while Joseph huffed in disgust. No girls in the room were anywhere near his standards.

"Shanaynay! You are wanted here!" A group of judges called her over. "Yes?" She asked when she arrived at their row of chairs. "Who on earth is this?" They pointed to Johnny and stared him up and down. "This is my lil brother, Johnny!" She introduced him, reaching up and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Not so little.. how did he get his hair that big?" One of the men asked, pulling out a notepad and taking notes. "It's natural. I heard he was born with a tiny little afro." She winked.

Joseph was stood sulking behind Johnny. He didn't exactly want to be there, despite all of the girls. Johnny moved slightly, showing some of Joseph's dreads. The judges all gasped simultaneously, drawing the attention of almost the whole room. "Goodness, who is that?!" One exclaimed, pushing her glasses further up her nose.

"Hmm?" He spun around majestically. The judges were stunned as his black and red dreads seemed to sparkle in the light. "She's gorgeous!" One judge shouted. "She's beautiful!" Said another. "Bit old for my taste." A man angrily snarled.

"Who is this classy cover girl?" Another asked, stepping forward to inspect the boy. "I'm a dude, dude." Joseph stated angrily. "Her dreads! Her colour scheme! Her beautifully black eyes! You know what? The competition is off. Take your dresses and piss off, we have our winner." Shanaynay held up Joseph's arm in victory as the other judge gave her speech.

The room suddenly revolted, pulling out weapons and using hair straighteners as shanks, advancing in on Joseph. As the judges wailed for help, Joseph, Shanaynay and Johnny made it to the exit. "Here.." She placed a hand in her pocket and pulled out a stack of money. "$4000. Your prize." She patted Joseph on the shoulder before rushing back into the crowd to try and break up the lynch mob of emotionally unstable teenage girls.

Once they had arrived back at the church, Smith was in the middle of preparing a lecture. "Woah! Where'd you get all that money from, lil buddy?" Smith asked Joseph upon seeing him. "Uh.. I won a beauty pageant?" He shrugged, almost in disbelief. Smith stood in shock, before shrugging. "Fair enough!"

Before another word could be said, Lake Saldmi ran past, waving his broom in the air. "That's right, y'all little bastards! Run from Lake!" An army of rats were currently being chased by him, yet, his attempts seemed in vain. "Son-of-a-bitch!" He frowned as they scurried out into the hallway. "Ah! We're having such a bad rat problem at the moment. You boys think you could help us?" Smith asked, hands on hips.