Church Buddies!!!1

Passage 14

"This all makes no sense!" Joseph shouted, keeping a firm grip of the Cooler Daniel's gun. "Why is everything happening like this? This is meant to be all innocent and about Christianity and funny not all serious like this!"

"Do.. do you think that was Daniel himself?" Luciel suggested in shock. "No, sis I thought we agreed that Daniel really is dead. That's a clone of him." Polly concluded, her arms crossed as she looked over at Joseph who was still stood in shock. "But why would he stop trying to kill Joseph and Johnny? If he wasn't Daniel then he wouldn't show any mercy on them. You made him out to be so evil but if he really was that evil then why would he do what he just did?"

The group fell into silence once more as Polly tried to think of a suitable excuse as to why he would stop himself. "Uh.. I don't know.. actually. Maybe it was Daniel!" She exclaimed, shrugging simultaneously. "No, no. I have a better idea." Johnny cleared his throat and dragged Joseph back over to their table.

"You see, my theory is that that really was The Cooler Daniel, it's just that something inside him wasn't right. He isn't entirely evil after all, he's just.. he has an essence of Daniel about him. He couldn't do it because he still has some Daniel in him. Like, if you think about it, he's still Joseph's dad, he's still the Daniel we all knew and he's practically Daniel's exact replica, just with a few DNA changes to make him more evil." Johnny explained, catching the attention of everyone in the room.

"You mean to tell me that he really wasn't evil this whole time? He killed Combaticus, for Christ's sake! He tried to assassinate the president.. he's not my dad. My dad would never do that to me." Joseph insisted, pushing Johnny away from him and turning back to face out of the window. "Yes, your dad wouldn't do that to you. But the Cooler Daniel would do that to you. He's not your dad, he's just.. almost your dad. There's still that bit of innocence there - that innocence that your dad had that stopped him from ever turning evil." Daneil walked up to him and put his arm around him in comfort.

"Fair enough." Joseph sighed. After a while, the gang began walking out of the McDonald's, following the exact route of TCD. Somewhat in hopes of seeing him, but otherwise just in an attempt to trace where he went.

When the gang reached church, with no sign of TCD, all was silent. It was fresh out of the apocalypse, as if no human life had been spotted there in many years. It looked abandoned and had a very eery feel to it, as if death himself was visiting the church that day.

"Hello?" Johnny asked, beginning to walk down the hallway. There was silence, safe for the steps of the gang. "Holy shit! Pastor Smith!" Daneil yelled, running ahead of the others and taking straight down the hall. In the centre of the hall, yet, much further down, was Smith's lifeless body. However, after a moment of inspecting, Daneil concluded that he was only unconscious yet his breathing patterns were strangely out of beat.

Next to his restless body, there was a large box. It looked more like a chest than just an average cardboard box. It was seemingly boarded up entirely by tape but the tape had been freshly sawed through, leaving a large seam line where the tape was cut. "What the hell?" Asked Polly upon grabbing the lid and cracking it open.

"Ugh! Christ!" She fell back and hit the floor, scooting away as her friends all looked down, Luceil and Johnny gagging occasionally. Inside of the box was the corpse of none other than The Cooler Daniel, with a scribbled note next to it. Joseph plucked the note from the box and unraveled it, revealing a message in blue marker.

'This is what happens when you oppose
ATHEISM'

He read out the message and heard gasps run among the group, not to his surprise at all. "Wait now I'm just hella confused." Daneil stated, looking down on the body nonchalantly. "Wait, wait! I bet it's all because George Bush is-"