The Good and the Bad

Drunk and In Love

"Stop." Mrs. Blackwell says and Jack almost drops me at her words. I stand up straight and we both look at her. She has a puzzled expression on her pale face with her fingers covering her lips.

"Bronx, explain to me why you have a better connection with Jack than your actual dance partner."

I start laughing a little and so does Jack. We've been dating for about two weeks almost three and my connection with Damien has lessened and my connection with Jack has escalated. Mrs. Blackwell has actually had to switch Damien out for Jack during rehearsal, which really pissed Damien off because Damien and I were, and I quote, boring her more than Principal Heffner's lectures.

"Well? I'm waiting." She says and crosses her arms.

"Uh, I'm not sure Mrs. Blackwell," I mumble.

"Well fix it or else I'll be forced to recast." She says. "Class dismissed "

I look over at Jack and start laughing again. God, he makes me happy.

Damien

"Gorgeous!" I yell trying to grab her attention as she walks out of the building with her hands intertwined with Jackson. I try my best to ignore it. She looks around trying to see who is calling her name before her eyes settle on me. She stops walking dropping her hand from his waiting for me to get closer.

"Oh, hey Damien, do you need something?" She asks.

"Oh uh yeah, practice tomorrow after school? Since our connection is broken." I say averting my gaze over to Jack.

"Sure. Not too late though, Jack and I have plans." She says smiling and leaning into him.

"Right of course."

"Bye loser." She says smiling at me next and I return it.

***

"I don't get what's wrong with us, Bronx! We had this. The dance was perfect. Everything was great. Then you had to go and start Dating Jackson out if all people who just so happens to be my replacement. It just doesn't add up!" I yell at her.

"Really, Damien?! You have no clue how stupid you are, do you? The connection was all built through me. Why? Because you have no heart. You've never loved anyone. You've never felt remorse. You've never felt any true pain. That's why this isn't working. Not because I'm with Jackson. Its because you're not all there." She shoots back.

This has been us for twenty minutes. Yelling back and forth, each of us trying to get a point across but each of us failing.

What I really want to say is that I think I care more about her more than I'm letting on because I know I can't have her which makes me want her even more. I think somewhere in my shallow, self-centered heart, I care. Too much.

I refuse to open myself up because it means getting hurt and all of the sentimental bull shit. So sleeping with other girls, not keeping them around and moving on takes my mind off that one thing I'm still running from. Well, two, if you want to count the second one which I'm still pretending, doesn't exist. But Bronx is changing my view on life and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing yet.

I mean if you look at her you can already tell she is different. You can see it in her eyes. You can see it in her smile. She's jot like the other girls who walk the halls of this school every day. She doesn't wear pounds of makeup to get attention on her. She doesn't wear what everyone else is wearing so a guy says something. She doesn't care what other people think. She doesn't think twice about what she says. She doesn't pretend to be something she's not.

She has this smile that lights up the room, it's so perfect. And her eyes remind you of the moon in a way. They're a greyish blue that makes you get lost in them almost like getting lost in space. Never ending but somehow so beautiful. She's seriously not like the rest of them. She doesn't need the makeup. She doesn't need the expensive clothes to be noticed. She doesn't need tons and tons of friends. She just needs a few to make her feel special. Even though she already is.