The Good and the Bad

The Cancellation of the Year

"We have to cancel it." Dad says over the phone.

"What? Why?" I wonder not because I want this to happen but because I'm curious.

"Honey, I don't know how to tell you this but, Damien died." He explains.

My actions numb and I can't find the words to speak. He's just gone. "What are you talking about?"

"The police found his body and he was shot three times.  His parents are having a super private funeral. Were not invited." He tells me.

"What are you talking about!? He can't just die. There's no way. I—i didn't even say bye." I choke on the words.

"Honey I know its hard." He coos.

"I need to be alone." I say hanging up the phone.

I cry. I cry until it hurts. I cry and cry and just cry.

I was supposed to say goodbye. I was supposed to end up worth him. But I wouldn't let him talk. I wouldn't let him fix things.

***

Three weeks later

A week until I can leave here and graduate. I didn't get into Juliard. Well I did. And so did, Damien. But I can't go. Not without him. Instead I'm going to University of Texas with Aspen, Vanessa and Francis. I need to.

I walk into the dance studio and drop my bag.

I really need to dance and ten o clock at night seems reasonable. Not really but I can't sleep.

"Dancing so late, Bronx?" Mrs Blackwell says scaring me a little.

"Mrs. Blackwell.I say breathless.

She smiles. "What are you doing here?"

I shrug and slump down fro the floor leaning my head back. "I miss him so much."

"Damien?" She asks.

I nod.

"We all miss the ones we love sweetheart. Its a part of life. He was important to you." She says sitting beside me.

"But I never said goodbye. I just swore at him and said I hated him. Next thing you know he was gone." I say starting to feel the urge to cry.

"Look at me." She says and I glance at her. She waves her hands for me to sit up and I sigh but do so. "He was an amazing person to you. You had your reasons to be upset with him right?"

"Yes but—"

"Right?" She asks a little more forceful.

I nod.

"So don't beat yourself up. He's always here." She presses a hand to my heart. "Don't be sad, B. He's still here."

He's still here.

Oh how I wish that was true.

***

"Here." George says to me handing a stack of papers.

I look art him confused as my hand rests on the door handle of the front door. "What is this?"

"I'm not sure. It was a document on Damien's computer and your name was on it so I printed it and drove over here to give it to you. Tell me what you find." He says as I take the papers hesitantly.

"Thank you." I says and he nods.

I go into the kitchen and sit down at the island. I start flipping through the pages. Its what he wanted for me. For us. For Reece.