Illumination of the End (Frerard)

Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

"Gerard... I-..." Frank hesitated. "Promise me that what I'm about to tell you won't change the way you see me... Please..." 

"Frank...I promise, now just tell me what happened." demanded Gerard. Frank sucked in a long breath and sighed. 

"Well.. I was in the back of the police car... I realized... I realized that I was going to spend a long time in jail. Years, Gee...A long time. I-I don't want to do that. I need you. I'd go insane if I was stuck in a cell without you... " explained Frank, staring into Gerard's eyes. How was he going to say this? He didn't want Gerard to think of him as a... murderer... "Gee, I killed the cop, and then ran here." he finally blurted out. 

Gerard's eyes became wide and stood up. "Frank, no.. What were you thinking?! Now you won't be going to jail for a few years, you'll be in there the rest of your life!"

Frank's breathing was rapid and his heart was racing. He had run from the parking lot of the mall all the way to Gerard's house. It had been a quick decision to kill the cop. He didn't know what had come over him in that moment, but it left the cop lying on the ground in a puddle of red liquid leaking from his neck. It hadn't sunk in for Frank that he had killed a man. His adrenalin had clouded his mind. It was as if his human mind had been replaced by animal instinct, and he didn't want to think about it ever again. The noise that escaped that cop's mouth as he fell to the ground. Frank will never be able to forget that.

What if the cop had a family? A son and a wife, maybe a dog that always wagged it's tail when the father of the house came home from work. Frank ruined all of that. The cop would never come home again... 

"I know it was wrong... That's why I have to leave. I-I've got to run away. I don't know where I'm going yet... but I can't stay here; not in Jersey... I came here to say goodbye, Gee. I just needed to see you one last time." 

"Frank, no, you can't leav-"

"Gerard, I can't stay here. I'm sure by now that they're already out looking for me. I have to get my clothes and leave. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," muttered Frank as he shoved his face into Gerard's chest. He took in his scent of cigarettes and after shave one last time. Gerard wrapped his arms tightly around him and didn't say anything for a minute. Frank didn't want to leave, especially now that he had Gerard, but he had no choice. It was either running away, or going to jail for life. The second option scared him.

"I'm going with you Frank." stated Gerard while his voice shook.

That's what Frank wanted; he couldn't imagine a life without Gerard, but it would be selfish to rip him from his life here. He had a family that loved him. Frank wouldn't let him come along, although it's exactly what he wanted. 

"No you're not. You have everything here. You have a family." Frank felt the tears falling down his cheeks. Gerard leaned back to wipe them away.

"Frank, I'm coming with you." she stated firmly. He planted a forceful kiss on Frank's lips and kept his forehead against Frank's. 

"But-"

"No, I don't care Frank. I'm coming with you... I- I love you."

Frank was surprised by the word but he replied quickly. "I love you too." 

"Where are we gonna go?" asked Gerard, still holding onto Frank tightly. He couldn't let him go. Never again. He didn't want to ever let him out of his sight again. Bad things happen when he loses sight of Frank. He had to go with him.

"I- I don't know. Maybe up to New York.." he answered backing away from his hold. Frank glanced around and found his bad of clothes. "We'll walk as far as we can, then take a few buses... You can't let anyone know that you're going with me Gee... Not even Mikey.."