FATE (KISMET SERIES - BOOK 2) (BOOKS 1, 2, 3 COMPLETE... BOOK 4 IN PROGRESS)

FATE Chapter 13

It turned out that Liam had woken in the middle of the night and went to get some more pain killers. He decided to flick through my camera to see the picture of his mum falling off the wall but instead he came across the pictures of me with the group of lads and got jealous.

I admitted to not feeling married and only staring at his hand. So if I look at his hand I feel married but when I look up at him I don't. It was because I never got to say my vows to him properly.

We both felt that we had got married for the kids and 'yes' we had been engaged before and would have eventually got married but it would have been a big affair and we didn't even have a photo to put in a frame on his work desk to annoy people with.

I offered to photo shop our head on one but he declined.... don't know why hehehe.

He said he felt guilty for taking my wedding away from me as every girl should get to be a princess and even though my dad was cool about not walking me down the isle, Liam was not as that is what he had imagined. He wanted to see me in my wedding dress and had no idea what kind of dress I would pick. He wanted to see my wedding hair style and bouquet. He wondered whether I would go for up or down and what colour flowers I would pick.

He wanted to get married in a church and have it decorated with flowers and see my mum cry as I turned up in a 'chitty chitty bang bang car' with my dad who would then walk me down the aisle acting all macho but inside he was a blubbering mess. He said becoming a dad himself made him appreciate being a parent and he looked forward to walking Alisha down the isle himself one day. He felt he had taken that moment away from my dad. Albeit for a good reason.

He wanted the stag night and the nervous wait at the bottom of the aisle for me to arrive and then the relief of knowing I had arrived. He wanted to stand there with Tyson as best man, waiting to see me and then turn and be blown away by the vision of me walking towards him.

He wanted to look me in the eye and say our vows properly as we placed the rings on our fingers. He wanted the kids as Page Boys and bridesmaid. He wanted the wedding picture for his desk. He wanted to walk out of the church as man and wife getting showered in confetti, with all our friends and family cheering us on.

He wanted the reception where there were embarrassing speeches and drunk uncles dancing. Kids sliding across the floor on their knees and Grandma's holding toddlers hands whilst dancing with them. The extortionately priced wedding cake that we cut together. The 'first dance', the father and daughter dance, the mother and son dance. The honeymoon in a plush hotel with room service and fresh towels. The perfect 'love making' to consummate it and everything else that went along side being married.

Above all 'he wanted me'.

He didn't want to discuss his birth mother other than to apologise for everything and beg forgiveness for treating me that way and promised to never do it again. I accepted and apologised for hurting him too. If I ever saw her I was to put the kids in the car and ring him. Above all he never wanted me to speak to her again. In doing so I was opening a window for her into his life and he could cope with it. Being civilized was not something she was capable of but luring you into a false sense of security was and I would never engage in conversation with her again.

I told him I wanted everything he did, well obviously I didn't want to see him in a wedding dress.... Well not until the honeymoon.... And he promised he would try it on for me if I wore his wedding suit.

We promised to renew our wedding vows in a proper ceremony as soon as the adoption had gone through and never to use the 'Divorce' word ever again.

We had taken off our rings and handed them to each other, recited the vows from memory as we stared into each others eyes and consummated until we fell asleep 'shagged out' and feeling very married!