Serendipity KTH

Chapter 10 - The Point of No Return

I came knocking at Tae's door. I told myself that no matter what his decisions were, I'll take it.

Nobody's answering. I knocked once more. Someone sweeping the floor noticed me.

"They've transferred." She said. "Few days ago, they left."

"Thank you, ahjumma" I said and went out.

I went to the park where Taehyung and I ate our ice cream. It was still morning and there were a lot of kids playing.

I was lost. I just sat there with my mind blank.

What would Tae say if he was still here?

He probably would joke around. Talking to my tummy.

I took out my college forms. The scholarship has moral clause. Any immoral acts would have grounds for suspension. I ripped it apart and throw it.

What the fuck has happened to me? I had my world in control and now it's spinning haywardly.

I buried my face in my hand and then I felt someone rubbing my back.

It was Jae sitting beside me. He didn't mutter a word. He gave me a plastic bag full of stuff.

I took it out. It was some vitamins and some guide for pregnancy. My tears came uncontrollably.

Jae hugged me.

I looked him in the eye and he wiped away my tears.

"Don't let this define you. You're better than this." He said smiling.

This is what Hani probably meant when she said Jae's a better choice. He doesn't make me laugh but he knows how to take care of someone.

For the longest time, I've denied that fact. That I needed to be taken care of. That things could get tiring.

When I finally got hold of myself, Jae looked at me.

"Do you have any plans?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Jae... I... I wish I could return your feelings but..." I started to say. It's unfair for him.

"Don't worry, I'm beating myself up for following you here. I know you love him. You wouldn't have torn the letter if you're not interested. You must've felt something strong for you to hate him that much." He was hurting. "Have you talked to him?"

"He doesn't live here anymore."

"Do you need any help?" He asked.

"Yes... sorry for being so helpless. Could you come with me somewhere?" I hugged him.

"Anything for you." He wiped my tears again and kiss me on the cheeks.

I rang the doorbell.

My mom answered. She was shocked but hugged me. "I missed you, I'm glad you visited."

I cried in her arms again.

"Y/N... is there something wrong?" She asked.

"Come inside." She said. Jae and I came in.

"Wow... you're mom's rich." Jae whispered to me as he looked at how big my mom's house were.

"Are you pregnant or something?" My mom chuckled as she asked me while she served some juice.

I hesistated for a moment and then nod.

My mom was surprised.

"You're really pregnant?" She she seemed surprised. She looked at Jae.

"That's... I was just kidding ... but...I'm  sorry but that's the last thing I expect you to do. I didn't know you have a boyfriend... Not that I'm ... it makes sense ... you being here... and you're not ready to marry is that it?" She asked while looking at Jae.

I saw Jae started opening his mouth and got scared that he would say unnecessary things.

"He's not the father, mom. He's just helping me. He's my ... friend." I said. "I lost my scholarship... can... can... you help me mom? I wanna keep the baby..."

My mom's expression got soft.

"Then stay here Y/N. I'll ask your aunt to get your things for you. You can use your old room back." She said.

Mom never asked me how it happened. Just what I wanted to do. I told her that I have nothing yet and then she gave me the option that I could always stop or attend and online college. She told me I could decide later. The first trimester is hard that I might not be ready for some hard work.

We ate dinner then Jae bid farewell. He stopped on his way out and faced me.

"My band got accepted at JYP. I'll be quitting the convenience store job." He said

"That's nice. You finally did it!" I know Jae has been auditioning non-stop and been giving cds to every company so this is good for him. I hugged him tight.

He cupped my face and looked at me.

"I could do it Y/N, I could marry you. You could still get your scholarship." He said.

"I know, I know you'll be a great father... but that's unfair. Especially now that you got signed." I said.

Then he kissed me on the lips. This wasn't like the simple kiss he did when we watched a movie. He was rubbing my lips with his.

I was vulnerable. I missed Taehyung so much. I kissed back. He opened my mouth and I welcomed his tongue into mine.

He caressed my back and pulled it into him. I could feel his hard on pressing on to my stomach.

I broke the kiss.

"I wish you could choose me instead him. I could actually make you happy. It wouldn't be unfair because you make me happy, too." He said.

"This is not your mistake. It's mine. It's his. You got a bright future ahead of you. It's unfair if you put that on risk because of our mistake." I told him.

I started to turned.

"I love you, Y/N. Now, more than ever." He said.

"Why?" I asked. I haven't looked at him.

"I don't know why I loved you but I do. I tried to get my mind off you but I can't. I know you've been going out with him and it hurts but ... it hurts more to see you suffering." He said grabbing and forcing me to look at him.

He kissed me again. This time it's short.

"You have a lot on your mind. I don't want to contribute to that. But if in case you need someone, please consider me. Please give me a chance to love you." He said and rode his motorcycle.

I wish it's that easy. I wish you could condition to head and heart to think and beat for someone else.