dear depressed diary

entry #14

Dear depressed diary,

let me talk you through the events of last night,

First of all, when we walked into the house we were bombarded with hugs and hellos, I was given so many names that I can not remember, Courtney has a very big family and so meeting them all took about an hour. I was asked so many questions about how we met, when we became friends, weather or not we were dating and sometimes how long we had been dating for, I am so thankful that Courtney stayed with me the entire night and kept telling people that we weren't dating, I love how accepting her family are of her sexuality and how it doesn't phase them or make them act different when she brings a girl to a family party instead of a boy. I wish I could have that. But anyway, on with the rest of the night, once we had spoken to everyone, we went straight to the food table and continued to stand there talking for another two hours, then Courtney gave me a tour of the giant house until we ended up in the attic, it was full of things from Courtney's childhood, as she saw it I saw her face light up and she dragged me to the centre of the room and started to go through her things while explaining and sometimes acting them out to me. It started with her showing me everything from her nine years of ballet and performing a dance to me, then she showed me all of the books she collected as a child and read me some of the smallest toddler books with different voices, she seemed so happy looking through everything in her childhood and I felt happy watching her being so excited to show me her world and let me into her life, I almost forgot that we were with all of her family until her mum came and found us saying that we needed to go back downstairs. She sounded serious and we followed immediately, almost running down the stairs to see what was so urgent.

As the main room came into view I saw Elliot stood by the door, he looked worried, scared and desperate, to say I was confused in that moment would have been an understatement, here is the conversation that happened in that moment 

"El, why are you here?"

"Madi, you need to come home, well to the hospital"

"The hospital? Elliot what has happened? who is in hospital? how did you know I was here? how did you get here?"

"your phone was ringing dear, I hope you don't mind that I answered it but your brother here was phoning you in a state, I told him to come here, I supposed he drove" Courtney's mum said to me

"he doesn't have a car, did you walk?"

"well I ran, but we need to go"

"go run to the hospital?"

"I'll drive you" Courtney said 

"Courtney you don't need to do that"

"no, you need to go to the hospital so I'll drive you, it seems serious okay, I don't mind"

so we got into Courtney's car and drove to the hospital, during the drive Elliot told me how my dad came home drunk, like usual, but this time he ended up hurting my mum, hurting her so much that she needed urgent medical care and couldn't breathe on her own, Elliot called the ambulance and police and that is when he phoned me as well. 

We arrived to the hospital and ran inside, I think Courtney could tell how much I was panicking in the hospital as she grabbed my hand while we walked through the corridors, I hate hospitals, I always have, since that one day. A similar story of my dad being drunk and taking his anger out on everyone else, he threw a glass that managed to hit me and smash, causing me to fall into a pile of broken glass, I was alright after a week or so, but this seems more serious, we arrived at the room where she was but we were told she was in surgery and not allowed visitors, he stabbed her, several times, deep, the possibility of her making it is small. She probably won't make it, but I will continue to sit in this waiting room until we can see her or until we are told that we will never see her.