Soiled Seed

Chapter One

Chapter One

CHILDHOOD

Age: 3

Father watched me play with my brothers. I didn't understand why he looked at me differently. His face twisted in disgust. I remember him getting up and grabbing my toys from me to give it to my brothers. When I would start to cry he would scream at me, throw me against the wall in my room and lock me in. Lenin always made scary faces at me when I tried to go near my other two brothers. I didn't understand. I didn't remember much, except the disgusted looks on their faces.

Age: 5

I was no longer allowed to eat at the table, because my father had stopped feeding me food. He bought dog food and made me eat that. My mouth watered when I watched my brothers eat. Why wasn't I allowed to eat?

Age: 6

Tommy started bringing me his leftovers because I keep throwing up and almost died of starvation. I was surprised father let him give me his food. I found out later he would spit in his food before giving it to me. Why would tommy do that when he knows I have to eat it?

Age: 7

Father stopped buying me clothes when I started out growing them. He told me I didn't deserve nice clothes because I was ugly and I was a bad boy. I had to rip some so I could fit into it. I stayed home all the time cleaning everything and doing what I was told. Hearn is the third brother just two years older than me. He started tantrums and I get hit for it.

Age: 8

Lenin turned 15 and started calling me to serve him and his friends whenever they would come over. I liked when he did because they would feed me. But only if I lick a dirty shoe or sit in icy cold water.

Age: 9

Father isolated me. Nobody was allowed to come near me or they would get in trouble. He started working again and would leave everyday at the same time. Except for Sundays, he was home every Sunday.

Age:10

Father started trying to get rid of me. And people started coming over to see me.

"How much is he worth?"

"Not much, he's my fourth child."

"How old is he?"

"He's 10."

"Hmm,"

The man reached out to touch my shoulder. I flinched..

"He's a bit on the skinny side, how often do you feed him?"

"Once a day." My father says pulling me in front of him and lifting my shirt. I was ashamed of how skinny I was. I was sure the man wasn't going to buy me.

Big cold hands were pressed against the middle of my belly. I started to pull away but the firm grip my father had on me kept me in that spot. "That's not healthy for a Child."

"It's is better to feed the older ones, the ones who will become our future leaders." Father made me face the man. "I don't want to waste food on this one," he gave me a shove.

I looked down at my naked feet. If I just try to be good maybe he will buy me and feed me. I force myself to look up into the man's face. He had a military uniform on and a scar along his face. He was also missing an ear. My lips turn up at the corners slowly.

"He still knows how to smile after all this?" The man asked looking at me. I could tell he was curious.

"He smiles at himself like a freak." Father! No you got it all wrong! I was smiling so this man could-.

He slapped me across the face. I hadn't said anything. I only smiled, and I get hit. The man only watched me. He shook his head. "No, I don't want him."

I whimper slightly. Please take me, I'll be beaten if I stay. Father gave my arms a really hard squeeze and let go to shake the man's outstretched hand.

Once the man had left, I was slapped so hard across my face that I fell and hit my head against the side of the small table. It hurt.

"You're too much! Nobody will take you!" He picked me up by my hair and walked me toward the kitchen. I glance up at my oldest brother, Lenin. He was standing near the stairs watching me. Father put me under isolation. My three older brothers were told lies and was ordered to stay away from me.

I remained quiet while I was shoved against the cold counter top, my face pushed down onto the marble stone. "Disgusting!" He unbuckled his belt and slid the belt out. I brace myself. He pulled my ripped pants down to my knees. "Nobody wants you."

I could hear the belt fly through the air and a loud slap as it made contact with my naked butt. I bite my lip, it felt like a thousand bee stings. The spanking repeated until I couldn't feel it anymore and stopped crying.

The burning sensation from my butt continued to heat up as I made my way into the basement. Tomorrow will be Monday and father will be away. The only peace I have.

I went without dinner, the only meal I get every day. My stomach growled and I curled up into a ball. Hoping it would stop hurting. Looking around the room I look at what I live in. I slept in a corner with a thin blanket that was mine when I was a baby. There was a bucket in the other corner that I used when I needed the bathroom. Father usually sprays me outside with the hose for a shower. Usually the water is freezing. There is a basket of my clothes. Maybe two other pairs. Those never get washed unless I wash them while father was away. The rest of the basement was filled with boxes which I wasn't allowed to touch.

I lay down in my corner and wrap myself up in the thick blanket. I had fallen asleep.

The next morning I wake up to a loud banging, it was father waking me up at four in the morning for a shower. I pull myself up and strip myself naked.

I was surprised to see that it was lenin standing there with the hose when I walked out. He woke me up for the bath? Lenin looked at me and pointed to the spot I usually stand at.

The water was freezing and it wasn't comfortable. "Turn around and bend over." Lenin hissed. I do what I'm told. The water wasn't on me anymore. I was shivering and confused. A warm hand pressed against my back. I turned my head to see lenin standing behind me. It was the first time in 7 years that he's touched me. I warmed up inside. It felt nice.

"..." Then I felt the hose brush against my bottom. The water was hitting my butthole and the tip of the hose wasn't too far away either. I wanted to ask lenin what he was doing but I kept quiet. Just like I did for 7 years.

"ahn!" A sharp pain shot through my body and I dropped to the ground. The pain was overwhelming! I've never felt anything like this. Tears ran down my cheeks and my teeth grind against each other.

"It's nice to hear something come from your mouth." Lenin says into my ear.

He pushed the hose up into me causing me to cry out in pain. The cold icy water filling me up was painful. He jerked the hose out and kicked me.

"Did that hurt." He said watching me gasp and cry. "It look like it did," he held out a towel. I didn't make a move. I couldn't. He squat down beside me and pushed my wet hair from my face. "Guess what, when dad leaves, were going to have more brotherly bonding."

I shut my eyes and flinched when he pulled me to my feet and wiped me dry. He grabbed my chin and pulled a tooth brush out of his pocket. He brushed my teeth.

Brotherly bonding?

This was brotherly bonding?

I was sleeping again in my room. The pain wasn't as bad anymore. Father had left and lenin hadn't come for me.