Soiled Seed

Chapter Four

 Chapter 4

Feelings of Another

Stepping out of the house was like stepping into a new world. The sun felt warm on my pale skin. It almost burned. I trudged closely behind Lenin making sure I kept up in case he decided he didn’t want to take me with him away from this house. I couldn’t keep my eyes on one thing they were dancing in my eye sockets trying to look at everything all at once.

Lenin opened the door to a very good looking car. It was a dark shade of grey. I didn’t know anything about cars since I only left the room to bathe and serve guests at parties that were being held at the place I called home. It was amazing to even be near one.

“Get in.” Lenin says staring back at the house. I glance back, Tommy was standing at the door his arms folded. “coward…” I barely heard what he said after that, but I didn’t want to make him angry so I got into the vehicle and put on the strappy thing. Lenin shut the door but he stayed where he was. It felt like Tommy and Lenin were staring at each other for hours. Finally, Tommy stood up straight and shut the door as he returned into the house.

Lenin came around and got into his car. I’ve never seen him so serious before. He is usually grinning or laughing, evilly in my opinion.  I watched him cautiously as he leaned forward and gently bumped his head on the steering wheel. My hand twitched wanting to reach over and place my hand on his head. In some sign of comfort that is, but I was too scared.

“There’s no going back.” He suddenly says and turned his head to look at me. My heart jumped and I inched away touching the door with my back. What did he mean by that? He continued to stare at me and I proceeded to do the same… just, a lot less confident.

“Alright!” He sat up straight and turned on the car. “Are you ready to ditch this shit hole?” He asked me while pulling out of the drive way and down the road. I opened my mouth only to close it again and nod. Lenin didn’t see it because his eyes were on the road. The music that played wasn’t what I’d expect him to listen to. It was a mellow guitarist strumming and singing of his love. I of course only hear what plays at the parties I was allowed to serve at. My ears were drowning in happiness at the sound.

“Do you want me to change it?” Lenin asked reaching over to press something on the radio.  I immediately reach and grab his hand. Violently shaking my head from side to side letting him know, absolutely NOT. I really, really like the sound of this music. It was easy on my ears and made my heartrate slow down to pure relaxation. “Okay.”

Lenin pulled his hand away from my death grip and placed his hands on the wheel. Was it really okay to live with him? I sink into my seat and put my hands on my lap. His clothes are really cozy… I pull the shirt up and take a deep breath. It smelled pretty nice, in a weird way. 

The place I was supposed to call my new home wasn’t as nice as the one I was living at. It was small and cramped. I wasn’t complaining though. There was a tiny kitchen and the bathroom was the size of a closet. It already had a couple of things in it. Lenin was watching me as I walked around looking at every detail. I can’t say I didn’t like the size. I felt safer with how small it was actually. There was a small bedroom with a twin sized bed up against the wall. There was only one room.

“This is what I can afford.” Lenin says popping up from behind me making me jump out of my skin and stumble into the tiny bedroom. It is carpeted, everything except the kitchen and the bathroom was carpeted. “Do you like it?” He asked.

“…” I nodded quickly and brushed my fingers across the bed. An actual bed! I can bet it would feel amazing to sleep in. I closed my hand into a fist. Of course I’ll never get to find out.

“What’s with that face, you don’t like your room?” Lenin asked.

Wait… MY room? I have a bed? I look at Lenin in total shock. MY BED? I was internally screaming at him. I couldn’t express what I was feeling so I stood there staring at him. Lenin took a few steps and stood in front of me. He lifts his hand and I immediately regret my reaction.

I had fallen back onto the bed and put my arms up to protect myself. I didn’t mean to do it. It was a reflex I developed. I knew it was a mistake. Lenin stood there his hand frozen in the air. He was looking down at me like I had just slapped him in the face.

“…” I wanted to tell him I didn’t mean it. I even reached my arms out toward him. He immediately turned away from me and dashed out of the apartment. I felt my heart stop. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry out his name and chase him- and and- and… Lenin…

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Hey Readers,

Sorry it took me so long to update. I'm also sorry the chapter I finally put up is so short and boring. I'm currently studying to be a Pharmacy technician so forgive me.

I'm already working on the next chapter so expect it soon!

-Remii