Soiled Seed

Chapter Five

Chapter 5

A Sweet Treat

It was already really late. I was sitting in the living room staring at the door pleading deep… deep down he wasn’t angry with me. I couldn’t help that I was afraid of him. It was really his fault for creating this part of me. If he’d just pick a personality and stick with it maybe I wouldn’t be so confused with how I’m supposed to react to his actions.

I wanted to do something for him, but I couldn’t really do anything. I was completely useless. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to look weak in front of Lenin and make him feel any worse than when he ran out.

The door lock clicked and the door swung open. Lenin stepped in looking at me, it was as if he didn’t know how to even greet me. So I put up a dainty hand and gave him a little wave. He only dropped his head, which caused his hair to hide his eyes. “Are you hungry?” he asked while walking past me and into the kitchen.

I nod.

Lenin hadn’t said anything, he just started cooking. I felt bad because now he won’t even look at me. I even got the courage to stand near the fridge and watch him cook. He kept turning his back to me so I ended up studying his back. It was strong looking, Attractive even. Could you find someone’s back attractive?

“…” I exhaled with force and touched his back. He flinched but nothing happened. So I hesitantly pressed my face between his shoulder blades and inhaled. What a nice smell… Is this what it’s like to have a caring big brother to touch? I could feel Lenin stiffen up, did he not like it?

He stepped away to grab two plates which left me leaning on air. I caught myself from falling forward and hitting my head on the counter space. Lenin handed me a plate full of food and my eyes light up. I could never get tired of eating actual food. After what I went through I savored every bite I ever had.

We sat at a two persons table and quietly ate. It was weird that I couldn’t feel eyes on my back or hear arguing bouncing around in my ear.  I smiled brightly at Lenin when I caught him glance at me.

“When you’re finished put your plate in the sink.” He muttered eating his food quickly and plopping his plate in the sink. Making his way over to the couch he messed with it and it turned into a bed. I was amazed. I was freaking… amazed! A couch can do that? It can turn into a bed? I quickly eat my food excited to go look at the amazing couch/bed.  I put my plate gently into the sink and scurry over to Lenin who was laying down in it watching TV. I stare at him until he looked at me. “What.”

I touch the bed and he raised his eye brows. I smile and climbed up into the bed showing him I wasn’t scared. He rolled off and stood up. “What are you doing!”

I stopped immediately and looked down at the bed. I just wanted to try it… Doing what I thought I should do, I climb back down and bow my head in shame. He was upset. I made him upset. I had only wanted to try.

“Don’t do that.” He hissed walking around the bed and grabbed both of my shoulders making me flinch. “Don’t look at me like that!”