The Shadow's Secret│TMNT

43 || I'm Okay

"I'll stay here with you tonight," Raphael said, stepping into my room via the window, having returned from radioing his brothers and updating them on everything we'd discovered. I laid sprawled on my bed after a refreshing shower, no longer worried for Liv's wellbeing when I found her soundly asleep in her room.

I blew out a breath and turned my head to smile gratefully at him. "Okay...thanks." And I felt more at ease for the first time since...well, since I met Leonardo and promised to keep his secret.

"Leo wanted to say that he's sorry for how he acted."

I scoffed. That's bullshit. I'm not even the one who deserves an apology. "And I'm guessing he never apologized to you?" I muttered, beginning to get really fed up with Leo.

"No."

I was prepared to argue and insist that he deserved an apology from his brother since he did nothing wrong, but with that single word, I could tell that he was done talking about it. Raphael strode into my closet and flicked on the lights, searching for the blanket he knew resided there. I would have gotten it earlier myself but I didn't like him sleeping on the floor when I had a whole queen bed to myself.

"You know, you don't have to sleep on the floor," I said. "If you want, you can sleep on the other side of my bed." Raphael silently replied to my offer by switching my closet's light off and exiting with my Jasmine blanket in-hand. I almost laughed at the sight.

"I'm fine with sleeping on the floor," he insisted. I frowned but tossed him some pillows anyway and let him be. The air between us was awkward, to say the least. It wasn't like last time where we laid in comfortable silence. No, it was like neither of us wanted to say anything for fear of starting an argument. One of us has to say something, and I know it won't be Raph.

I wracked my brain trying to conjure something that would start a conversation or at least alleviate some of the awkwardness. What were we talking about last? And a lightbulb seemed to go off in my head.

"Your turn," I whispered, hoping he'd catch on and recognize the game I was attempting to reignite. He didn't say anything for a long time, making me begin to believe he really didn't want to talk, or even be here for that matter.

But at last, he spoke.

"Are you okay?"

I opened my mouth to laugh and say yes, but then my mind flashed to earlier in the night when my body had frozen in a fear I'd believed to have gotten over years ago, and the steadily growing horror in knowing that the Footclan was somehow using me, and the terror I'd felt for Olivia as I desperately raced into my apartment, praying that I wouldn't find her murdered or kidnapped or crying in the midst of a ransacked home all because of me. I wanted to say no.

But then I remembered how Raphael had started running even before me when I'd mentioned my sister, and how—unlike his older brother—he wasn't angry about the Footclan incident. I recalled how he'd been the one to bring the tantō and throw it to me in case I had to defend myself, and how he'd decided to stay the night to ensure my sister and I would be safe. I remembered how he was the first one to look away, to avoid a fight between him and his brother so he could bring me home safely. And now, as I realized that the biggest question circling through his mind concerned my wellbeing, I knew I was okay with him.

"Yeah," I murmured, smiling softly to myself, "I'm okay."

And just like that, as if my answer held some sort of power, the stress between us instantly vaporized.

"Okay, my turn," I shifted onto my stomach to look down at him. "Can you carve me something?"

Raphael froze, then he met my gaze in surprise, then a huge smile slowly formed on his face. "Like what?"