The Shadow's Secret│TMNT

51 || Wounded and Broken

"Quit moving around," I scolded, feeling the car jostle yet again.

From the backseat, Raphael growled unhappily and at last settled. "It's not my fault this thing was built for humans, not mutants." His statement sounded accusatory.

"Well it's not my fault uncle Tom's least favourite car happened to be this tiny ass thing," I muttered, glancing in my mirrors before changing lanes. "For all I know, it's gonna get blown up so I figured it'd be the best one to accidentally destroy." I ignored his grumbling complaints with gritted teeth and clenched fingers. Raph was beginning to piss me off to such a  degree that I almost forgot to be scared of driving on my own for the first time. Usually, I'd practice with Liv in parking lots or on remote dirt roads she'd drive out to. It was a miracle that I hadn't caused an accident yet, or that uncle Tom either didn't know I was without my license, or simply didn't care.

Glancing down at the vehicle's GPS I'd inputted the tracker's coordinates into, I found that I'd missed my turn.

"What the hell!? Why'd the thing not tell me to fucking turn!?" A loud, irritated sigh sounded from the backseat, and I was half-tempted to slam on the brakes. "Would you shut up?" I hissed, tapping the GPS screen madly to recalculate the fastest route. "I'm doing the best I can and you're being an annoying asshat."

"I didn't say anything," he argued indignantly.

By some grace of God, I found the strength not to kill him. And we managed to drive in a tense silence for a total of five minutes before he exploded.

"Why the hell are you driving so goddamn slow!?"

"Because if we goddamn get pulled over for speeding, the freaking cops will taser your ass and throw you into Area Fifty-One or some shit! Not to mention what'll happen to me and my family, dumbass! Now would you please shut up?" I waited for around smart-ass remark but received nothing. Thank god.

Once we left the city and traded narrow, jammed streets to mostly deserted roads with a shoulder, my stress began to steadily evaporate. The GPS hadn't failed me since I'd yelled at it after missing another turn and discovered the volume wasn't on. So that was good at least. But there was still a tension the air between us that hadn't been present in a while; familiar but alien. And so I figured that now—while Raphael's confined within a small vehicle—was the best opportunity I'd have to set things right before whatever we had become hopelessly unsaveable.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, glancing at the terrapin in the rearview mirror. He exhaled through his nose and turned his gaze toward a tinted window. Taking the hint, I looked away as well, but I wouldn't give up. I knew he was beneath that rage. Somewhere. And I was going to reach him however I could. So I took a deep breath and spoke the truth. "I'm just afraid." And I know you are too. "I don't want to lose anyone else. I...can't handle that feeling again." Another deep breath. "Does Donnie still have any of that amnesia stuff?"

"What? Why?"

"For Liv." I felt his sharp gaze swing back to me, but I didn't meet it. I didn't say anything either, just let the words and their meaning sink into him.

"It was a few minutes before he asked again, "Why?"

"Because it's what you want," I said.

"I never said that," he growled, making it close to impossible to discern his words.

"Really? Because I recall you saying that you don't want her knowing anything." I snapped, allowing some frustration to peak through my calm demeanour.

"I don't."

"Well if you don't want Liv to forget then what do you want? Me to forget?" I looked in the rearview mirror, trying to catch a glimpse of his reaction, but his face was turned away. "I can drop you off, then go back to the lair and take some and Liv will be too busy dealing with me to care about you," I shrugged. "You'll never have to see me again." His muscles tensed, letting me know I'd struck a nerve, either because I was simply annoying him or he was angry at my suggestion, in which case he cared. I prayed desperately it was the latter. "Or–"