--Troye's POV--
But would I? Was I promising something that I couldn’t keep a promise about?
Was I telling the love of my life that I wasn’t going to hurt myself again when I wasn’t sure if that was the truth?
No. Troye; you need to keep that promise. What you did was so so stupid.
It was stupid but at least it made me forget.
At least it made me forget about the boyfriend I’m putting through pure torture as he watches me whither away.
Do you think that I would’ve seen Tyler like that without harming myself? No. And I hated seeing him that depressed. But it also made me reassured that he loves me.
I wish I could erase what I did on my leg, the scars that they will turn into. But at least it won’t be as bad as the scars on my heart while seeing through my own eyes how real sadness feels. Because all of that sadness is being displayed by Tyler every day.
I may be fucked. But Tyler’s watching me go down into that ditch.
He’s watching me lower myself further into it and I can’t pull myself back up because of how weak I am.
He’s suffering more watching me suffer than I am suffering.
He’s watching me fade away and trying to cover up that he’s fading with me.
I don’t want to go.
He’ll come with me and I don’t want him to.
I want him to stay here and let me leave and kiss me goodbye but tell me he won’t be coming with.
That is the scariest part.
When he spoke the words, “I would die too.”
I limply put my arms around him as well and clutched onto the back of his shirt.
“Please don’t go with me…” I was choking on my words.
“Huh?” Tyler seemed confused and I could still feel him shaking from how hard he was crying. That just made me hug him tighter.
“Nothing.” I didn’t want to bring it up, so why did I?
“You aren’t gonna leave, Troye.”
Leave? Could he not say the word ‘die’ when talking about me?
“I-- I’m not saying that I’m going to… I’m just saying that if--”
Tyler cut me off with a kiss. He held his face very close to mine after.
“I’m telling you that’s not going to happen.”
“Okay, okay…” I nervously smiled at Tyler.
“Hey Baby…” I said sarcastically and bit my lip as he walked over to me and climbed on top.
“Hey……” He looked depressed. I wonder why?
“What’s wrong?” I furrowed my brow and touched the back of his neck.
His eyes darted from side to side before he looked back at me. “I’ve been having this dream where you get sick and…”
“Aw, babe.” I put my hand on his cheek.
“I’ve just been worried that it’s gonna happen.” He looked down.
“Well; even if it does; I’m not sick now.” I tilted his head up and smiled at him. “So…” I wrapped my legs around his hips. “Why don’t we just enjoy it?”
I pulled him into a kiss and placed my hands on his back.
He smiled and passionately kissed me back, sliding his right hand up my shirt.
“Well, fuck.” He said.
“What happened?” We were a centimeter away from eachother’s lips.
“I love you.”
That was the first time he told me he loved me.
“I love you too.” I was trying so hard not to break out into a gigantic smile.
I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember. To think that I’m in this situation now and I can’t even make a promise to him that I’m sure I can keep kills me.
But I’ll keep it as best I can.
YOU ARE READING
By your side. -- TROYLER / INCOMPLETE
FanfictionTroye is suffering from an illness and then they find out it's worse than they thought. Tyler loves him dearly and is trying to stay calm. Will Troye get better or will his sickness get worse? this story has been discontinued.
