Sleeping With the Professor (NOT CONTINUING)

Eighteen

"So, you can't leave me hanging Lilly! I'm dying to know how this happened with you and Professor Phillips," Becca was practically screaming this at me as soon as the door shut behind us in our dorm.

She pulled her hair up into a ponytail and grabbed a bag of chips before sitting on the usual spot on the floor.

I sighed and dug around on the counter to our very small kitchenette, in search of my box of frosted flakes that I snacked out of. I sat down on my desk chair and swiveled around in an attempt to stall the conversation.

"Hello?" She prodded, obnoxiously munching on barbecue chips.

"Ugh," I muttered and spun back around to face her. "If you must know," I started.

"Yes I must," Becca interrupted.

"Remember the first night we met, how we went to that club?" Becca nodded eagerly in response. "Well, he's the one that I hooked up with." I gulped and hid my face in my hands out of embarrassment.

"Oh," She murmured. I looked up and saw her staring into space, clearly analyzing the memory and my words. "Then what about Eric? That was his name right?"

"That was me trying to get over Tony." I sighed, "Tony is his name by the way."

"I put two and two together," Becca laughed. "Wow I can't believe this." She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest.

We sat and chatted about the details, including the red headed whore. The topic led to a discussion about her love life and it made me feel happy.

I felt true bliss for the first time in ages. The only thing that could make the moment better would have been Sarge. Oh I miss him terribly.

We discussed our romantic adventures for what felt like hours and indulged in girly activities. Becca painted my nails and I braided her hair, etc. Overall it was a wonderful bonding experience, which made me utterly thankful for Becca. She was steadily becoming someone I could put all of my trust into.

She fell asleep as dawn creeped closer, yet my mind was racing. My eyelids fluttered open uncontrollably every time I shut my eyes. It was annoying.

I sat up and huffed irritably, clambering down from my bed, hopping down, and gently landing on the floor in one full swoop.

I grabbed a water out of the fridge and a pudding cup before plopping down at my desk chair and opening up my laptop. The time in the upper left hand corner of my MacBook read, 1:47am. I groaned internally and opened up a new browser, placing my mouse in the google search bar. My hands typed the school I was attending and my pinky hit the enter key. I clicked on the correct link and scrolled down the page until I found the section that contained teacher websites and contact information.

My eyes felt like popping out of their sockets as I vigorously scrolled through the hundreds of names on the page. I got dizzy, so I slowed down my pace until landing upon the P section.

Once my eyes found the familiar name I clicked on it and copied his full name to my clipboard. I opened a new tab and pasted the name into the search engine. Seconds later, multiple links appeared and I scanned them until one caught my eye. I clicked the link and it led me to a funeral home's page. It was an obituary.

Instinctively I shut the lid to the laptop and took a deep breath, trying to avoid crying. I looked at the deep scar on my left wrist, pain pulsing from within the scar tissue.

A small gasp left my lips as my phone randomly vibrated against my desk. I picked it up and saw that Eric had texted me. Strange. I unlocked my phone and opened up the message. I must have read it ten times before it even remotely processed in my brain. He sent me a photo of him with a girl sitting on his lap. The image disgusted me. As I was on my way to respond he sent through another message.

It read, "Fuck you for using me to get over some random ass guy. I found another whore for my needs."

I nearly threw my phone across the room, choking back sobs. Reality set in that I did exactly what he said I did. Nothing was untrue.

I anxiously braided my hair back and slid my phone in my back pocket. I put on a pair of flip flops and rushed out the door to the bathroom.

I barely made it to the toilet before vomiting into it. I kneeled in front of it and let the tears fall freely. The urge to go outside and play with Sarge in the field made me extremely homesick and seemed like the only thing that would help me at the time.

I vomited a few more times until nothing was left. I sat down in the stall, bringing my knees to my chest and slightly rocking back and forth, my heart palpitating in my chest.

My eyes were drawn to my scar since my arm was close to my face. I purposely tried to remember the experience, trying to punish myself for being a bitch to Eric, for ruining something that could have been good, for losing my "virginity" to a man much older than me, for disappointing my parents over and over again, and for being so selfish that I could no longer see how my actions were affecting people around me.

When I checked my phone again it was 3:39. I sighed and stood up, drowsiness overcoming my senses. My legs were wobbly as I opened the stall door and took a few steps towards the sinks. Once within reach my body fell forward, my arms out in front of me to brace my fall. My left arm failed me like it usually does, leaving me to hit my head on the sink and crash to the ground. My eyes were heavy and a loud ringing noise filled me ears. I tried to call for help but remembered nobody would be awake. I felt tears forming as I tried to stand. An intense pain in my head stopped me from doing so. My hand immediately went to the area causing me pain and was met by a wet feeling, blood.

I screamed and fumbled for my phone that was in my back pocket. I swiped up and dialed 911.

The operator picked up and spoke in a sweet voice to me. I told the woman what school I was at and my dorm number. She said something else but I couldn't keep my body upright any longer, leaving me to fall back on the ground and drop my phone. I heard the sick crack, and then the room spun around me.

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(A/N) AYE

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