Sleeping With the Professor (NOT CONTINUING)

Eleven

Another day, another...drama infested love triangle. I was pissed, pissed that I thought it could work out. Teacher-student relationships don't work for a reason.

I sat in my dorm room chatting with Becca about her love life, which was more on the positive side.

Even though I kept a conversation with her, my mind still wandered to Tony. My mind raced, picturing the red head's lips on lips that belong on mine. I hated being so young, so naïve. I wish I could turn back time.

I never would have left the first night, I should've stayed at the dorm, settling down into my new life. Instead I threw myself into another battle, when I was already struggling with the one I already had.

I thought Tony was different. He seemed to thoroughly enjoy my presence. I guess he enjoys every woman's presence. I can't even imagine how he treated his wife when she was still around, and who knows if his wife was all a lie?

I was sitting indian style, on the floor of my dorm room, blankly staring off into space, nodding every so often when Becca asked me a question. The feeling of my dry hands rubbing against one another sent chills down my spine.

My eyes dryly scanned the computer on my lap. A presentation flashed across the screen. Something regarding biology, but nothing was being retained. The room around my screen blurred away into oblivion and my eyes slowly drifted apart, causing my screen to double and move so that they were side by side.

The image was giving me a headache but my energy level was nonexistent. I couldn't bring myself to look away or focus my eyes on the flashing images anymore. Becca's voice droned on in the background. A small part of me envied her luck. The first guy she found is a decent one, I found two and chose the wrong one.

"Lilly!" Becca shouted, scaring me out of my daze. My eyes refocused and I looked her dead in the face. However I didn't really see her, I felt like I was just looking through her. "Are you okay?" Her voice mocked as she giggle.

"What?" I mumbled, regaining the ability to speak.

"What's bothering you?" She prodded, looking at me from across the room with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing," I blurted without hesitation. "I'm just not getting enough sleep." I lied.

"Oh me neither." She giggled. "I hate college!"

"Me too," I joined in on the giggling.

The rest of our conversation was short and unimportant. I didn't want to go to class. I didn't want to major in journalism. I didn't want Tony to read my book. I didn't want to play the image back in my head of Tony and the whore together. I just didn't want it. I didn't want this stress.

It was Monday. Today is English. Today will be hell. "Can we sit in the back in English class?" I mumbled as the two of us got ready for the rest of the day.

"Yeah, I'm planning on doing other work during that pointless lecture." Becca said while applying a thick layer of white deodorant to her underarms. "Or I might sleep." She chirped and slipped on a flimsy grey shirt that was two sizes too large for her.

A part of me felt hurt at her reaction about his class. Even though he wasn't my favorite human being romantically, he was a kick ass professor. "I just don't want to feel like I'm being stared at." I muttered while tying my white high tops around my ankles. I could feel her confused gaze on the back of my head, so I sat up and looked at her. "He-he kind of uhm," I clicked my tongue and swallowed the phlegm gathering at the back of my throat. "He just creeps me out."

Becca nodded. She just might be more naïve than I am.

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We met up outside of the building. She causally chatted about her previous class and I groaned with her as she complained about a project due in three days.

When we walked into the room, the atmosphere was different. It felt cold and eerie. My gut wrenched inside of me, sensing that something was wrong. Becca and I trudged up to the top row, both of us with our arms crossed over our chests in an attempt to warm up.

My teeth slightly chattered. I was wearing running shorts and a muscle shirt. Not a lot of fabric to keep me warm that's for sure. Becca and I wrote each other jokes on a blank piece of notebook paper to try and distract ourselves while we were waiting for Tony to arrive. The jokes were nothing shy of being vulgar and we giggled like the teenage girls we were until a silence fell across the class, like a rain cloud had appeared over a blazing fire and extinguished it in a single moment.

Tony's shoes smacking against the floor was the only sound remaining. I looked down at the notebook paper, too scared to look at him. I didn't want to feel vulnerable or guilty. I could hear the sound of his briefcase scratching the surface of his wooden desk, and the sound the papers made as he placed them in the corner.

The sounds grew muted so for a solid thirty seconds it was as if Tony wasn't there at all. Becca was taking short, quiet breaths. I could practically feel her pulse violently beating in her veins, protruding from the thin layer of skin on her wrist.

The deafening sound of nails against a chalkboard rang in my ears and I scrunched my forehead together in frustration. I glanced up to see Tony writing something on the chalkboard. My arms felt weightless and the room felt like it was spinning as the sound intensified. It reminded me of the sound of human nails against flesh and was almost as revolting as the sickening sound of a whip being lashed.

At some point I closed my eyes and leaned back, trying to block out the noise. I tried to block out the memories that were bubbling up inside, filling my lungs and suffocating me.

I don't know if he was talking or writing. I don't know if Becca tried to hold me back. I don't know if any of our fellow classmates watched as my pale body flailed aimlessly down the steps. I don't know if Tony watched. I don't know if he could see the vulnerability in my expression. I don't know.

What I do know is at some point I couldn't take it anymore. I know that I ran out of the classroom, tears brewing in my eyes, nausea punching me in the gut. I know that my head was spinning and I felt like passing out. I know that the lingering pain in my arm heightened. I know I was scared.

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Been a while gang. I'm sorry I haven't updated and kept up with my books on here. I'm so busy with school and work that I don't have time to write. But today I found inspiration and I hope you guys enjoy!

...another cliffhanger he he he

Until the next update...xoxo