Define Love

15

One week. That's how long it's been since me and Lauren have seen one another in person. We texted each other but that was it, no calls, no FaceTime or Skype. All I wanted to do was fix my mistake but on the third day, I gave up. She posted a pic of her and Ty Dolla $ign all cuddled up. She looked so happy. Happier than she is when she's with me.

My heart is filled with so much pain that it's beginning to take a physical toll on me. I'm not even sure what I did that made her completely cut me off but it hurt. It was quite obvious that I'm the only one willing to fix our relationship. What the fuck is the point? I'm not going to put myself through even more pain by surrounding myself in a wall of ignorance. The least I could do was try to move on, she clearly doesn't love me as much as I thought she did.

I've buried myself back into my school work, boosting my gpa with such a steady distraction. My friends go as far as to reassure me Lauren would come to her senses. Fuck it, why should I care if she clearly doesn't. Her own band mates texted me and had longer conversations with me than she did. There was no point anymore.

Even with these thoughts in mind my insecurities overpowered me. They ranged from 'Where did we go wrong?' to 'I'm not good enough'. The only way to keep them at bay was by surrounding myself with things I enjoy but even then I found Lauren in everything.

For once just this once I actually was fooled into thinking she was the one who would not break my heart. Now I feel like an angry lovesick dumbass.

My phone vibrating on the table frantically made me launch my pencil across the room. I chuckled to myself not bothering to get up and grab the writing utensil. A small flicker of hope filled my heart even though I knew it wasn't Lauren it was still there whenever I received a notification.

The Jauregui's (mainly Chris and Taylor) maintained contact with me as well, Taylor began talking about Lauren to me saying the rudest shit about her own blood. I scolded her at some point but she told me 'I can't help it, you're the best thing to ever happen to her and she threw it all away for this Whoopi Goldberg wannabe bitchass no hairline man'. That made me laugh, knowing people understood how much pain the situation caused me was comforting.

My phone vibrated again in my hand, it was the group chat I had with Dinah, Normani, and Ally minus Lauren for obvious reasons.

Polynesian Queen😈😤: YO, Y/n you better say yes to Chris

🙏🏼Mama Allyson🙏🏼: Dinah don't pressure her, it's her decision!...even if she should say yes...

Mami Mani😍🤤: She should say yes!!! But we also shouldn't pressure her...yet.

Instead of replying I chose to open Chris's text seeing how it was relevant in the group chat.

Chris😤😤😤: Y/N I HAVE A PLAN AND YOU BETTER AGREE TO IT OR IMMA MAKE YOU

Y/n: First OF ALL HEADASS WHO THE FUCK YOU TALKING TOO?! It depends on what the plan is...

Chris😤😤😤: Tonight Normani, Ally, and Dinah are having dinner with us, but I want to invite you and watch how quick Lauren tries to kick my ass once she notices how close you're acting with all of us, including Mom, Dad, and Taylor but not her.

I chewed on my bottom lip, a nervous quirk I picked up on a few years ago. This good either go terribly wrong or wonderfully right.

Y/n: Idk about that Chris...Will she be there with him? I don't want to end up even more heartbroken than I already am.

Chris😤😤😤: Yes he is gonna be there but Y/n/n that's the thing! She knows she's acting childish but doesn't want to confront you so we can fix that by inviting you over tonight for dinner and not telling her. You walk in wearing something that'll MAKE HER JAW DROP and then she'll get jelly and BAM, 'Holy shit Y/n I'm still in love with you, please forgive me for being such a bitch, baby please' kissy kissy the end