Define Love

18

"Hurting you was never my intention." Lauren explained to me, her eyes trained on her hands rather than me.

As soon as she stopped sobbing and was able to speak, I pulled away and sat her in front of me. If we were going to have this conversation we were going to do it right. I don't care if it takes all night, I'm not losing Lauren.

"But you did...do you have any idea how painful it is to have the woman you're in love with not talk to you for an entire week?" I asked with a humorless laugh. "Especially when I'm not aware of what I did wrong that made you cut me off, my heart genuinely aches simply thinking about it Lauren." She flinched when I called her by her actual name. Most of the time, the only reason why I call her by her name instead of the usual pet name is because of something serious. At the moment, I'm not willing to sugar coat anything, all of this could have been avoided if she simply chose to talk to me. "To add the cherry on top you say yes to moving in with me and tell me how happy you are and how you can't wait-"

"That was before I caught your ex laying on top of you in the middle of your apartment." She cut me off, her green eyes hardening in less than five seconds.

I balled my hands into fists and dug my nails in my palms. "That gives you no right to ignore me. And you know it!" Lauren's glare softened and her eyes was again glazed over.

"I'm sorry, I swear right after dinner I was going to call you-ask to meet in person so that I can explain myself." She explained, her voice just as shaky as her hands.

In that moment it felt as if someone reached into my chest and squeezed my heart. I took a deep breath as the tears began to fall from my eyes. "Why did it take you an entire week to do that?" She reached out to place her hand on top of my bawled up fist. My palm involuntarily relaxed underneath her touch.

"I'm not-"

"Lauren I swear to god-"

"I was scared!" She exclaimed, snatching her hand back and jumping to her feet. Lauren began to pace back and forth on the carpet, digging her hands into her hair. "We are so in love with each other Y/n/n, it fucking frightens me. As soon as I walked into our home and saw that fucking bitch laying on top of you, it just made me so angry and in that moment it was like some shit possessed me into beating her ass!" She stopped and turned her body to face me completely, her eyes were trained on me but never met my eyes. "You make me...feel so loved and having that taken away from me after waiting for it for so long...the thought hurts. And I'm sorry, I truly deeply madly am sorry, you're my fucking world baby." She released a shaky chuckle, her green eyes sparkling like diamonds. "I shouldn't have ignored you, but...after the damage was already done it was hard for me to think of how to manage with it...how could I hurt such a fantastic, ethereal being after she has done nothing but love me with every fiber in her being and constantly show me that she cares?" I crawled on my knees up to her and reached for her hand only for her to step back. "I don't deserve you." She shook her head frantically when I began to protest.

Does she really think so low of herself? The most angelic human I've ever met. "No." I stated, my voice firm and gruff. "I'm in this to. Do you understand that? You're not alone. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." With every step backwards she took, I took one forward. Eventually she trapped herself against the wall and still hadn't met my intense gaze. I put both my arms by her sides, blocking her from escaping. "As much as I don't want to admit it princess...I forgave you already. That's what love does to you..." I chuckled, leaning my head on top her own. She remained silent, whimpering every once in a while.

"I don't dese-"

"You do.We both have been waiting for the perfect person to treat us right and make us believe in love all over again. You are that person for me, am I that person for you?" Her eyes were trained on the ground. I hesitantly began to wrap my arms around her only for her to throw her arms around my neck and sob her heart out. All of her body weight leaned on to me. "Breathe, baby, breathe." I whispered in her ear, drawing patterns on her back.