Say My Name ( A Kendrick Lamar Love Story)

Chapter 19

Nicole's P.O.V

Its been two weeks since I told Kennedy and Nathan who their father was, and ever since that day I haven't gotten any sleep without them screaming "Mommy when our we gonna meet daddy". To tell the truth I'm more scared for me to approach him then for them to meet him. After much pleading and begging I finally made the arrangements to take the kids for a two week trip to Compton. I still had my friends back there who I kept in touch with and I needed to reconnect with my second home. it just so happened that my first love lived there. I admit it, I still loved Kendrick that was the only reason I was still single. There are a lot of cute boys in L.A.

"Mommmmmy was that the laaaaaaast bag. You're taking foreeeeever to leave." whined Kennedy.

"Stoooooop talking like thaaat" Nathan said mimicking Kennedy.

"Both of yooou cut it ouuuut" I said causing both of then to crack up.

But Kennedy was right. I was staling. All week I felt fine about going to visit Kendrick, until I had to leave. I loaded the back of my Range Rover and then fastened the twins in their car seats.

It was going to be the longest 25 minute drive.

At about 12:10 I pulled up into my dad's old house. He died two years ago, but my sister and I still hire people to maintain it for us.

"Kiddo were here" I said patting on Nathan's back.

Kennedy woke up once I turned off the car's engine.

I got them out and unloaded the car. As I opened the house door rock full of memories flew in my face. My old home, my old romance, my old life. It's hard to say that just three years ago, I could say that this was my life. Now it just a piece of my past I'm scared to turn too.

As soon as I unpacked all of our luggage, I had to take the twins and run to the grocery store to by something to cook. I wasn't into going to a restaurant the first night back 'home' although it probably was my best bet. I just didn't want to see anyone I knew. Correction I didn't want to see Kendrick.

At the Grocery Store

"So what do you guys want for dinner tonight'' I asked the twins.

"Pasta." Nathan shouted.

"Yeah chicken pastaaaaaaaa" Kennedy agreed.

"Then pasta it is" I said picking up the noodles, chicken, alfredo sauce and frozen vegetables.

"Mamma we need fruity pebbles and milk" Nathan reminded me.

We went in the store for about 10 items and came out with about 50.

After we checked out the store we loaded the car and were laughing at some over used joke Kennedy always tells.

I began to reverse the car while all three of us were singing some stupid Bubble Guppies song that I had on cd for the kids since explicit music usually played on the radio. I was halfway out my parking spot when Nathan began crying.

"I pulled back in the lot and began to look at Kennedy to see what she did to him. I really had to toughen my son up.

"What did you do to him Kennedy?" I said beginning to scold her.

"Mommmmy I pwomise it wasn't meeeeee"

"No its not her its you" Nathan managed to make out in all his tears.

I tried to understand what I did wrong.

"What did I do" I asked confused.

"I thought you said he was our daddy" Nathan said pointing toward the windshield.

I turned quickly to see what he was talking about. And surely there was Kendrick and Sherane holding a little girls hand who couldn't have been older than the twins. She looked about the same age out a few months younger.

And a realization I didn't want to believe came to my eyes. A almost healed scar was reopened the atmosphere around me got week. Almost like deja-vu.

I might not have been over Kendrick, but he was surely over me.