Colorful Silence

Again

Hey y'all so I wrote this the same day I'm posting it because I'm gonna look back on writing this and regret it.
I'm really sad.
That's all enjoy.

I'm really hurting today.

It's getting bad again.
The pains getting worse again.
I'm cutting deeper again.
I want to end it all again.
I might try again.

I find it hard to explain.
The amount of pain I'm feeling.

Because it's hurting.
It really fucking hurts.

The screams aren't just in my head anymore.

Now just on the tip of my tongue.
Muffled by a bottle of whatever I could find.

I have marks on my hands again.

Bruises,
Scratches.

All with a different story.
Yet all from the same background.

My way of keeping my mouth shut.

Don't say anything
I tell myself.

Don't let them know you're hurting.

Yet here I am.

Though this will be read on a digital screen.
It was first written in a tear-stained notebook.

Just ink and pages.

Yet it tells a story.
The story of me.

The one way I can express myself.
With word play and rhymes.

These metaphors have meaning.
More than you know.

It shows the vulnerability of a young girl.

Yes I can express myself.

But it still hurts.

Because the person I love doesn't give a damn about me.

But I will walk out of this room after writing this with a smile on my face.

I will do this for my family.
My friends.
The one whom I love.

I will do this until one day.
One day I will break.

And I will fall into the darkness.

Once again.

~maddie