A Pain Beyond Unbearable

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Hey so this is technically an explanation about what all is going on in my life so yeahhhh

Enjoy?

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I guess you could say that I'm going through a friend breakup.

A friend that I've had for eight long years.

A girl who has been with me through every up and down. Twist and turn.

She's been there through the best times of my life. And the worst.

Now here I am.
Lying here broken and all I want to do is run to her... but she's not there.

Emotional pain is a thing.
It's a fucking thing.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it found a way to end my life.

I wish I could explain how much it hurts. Because it really fucking hurts.

Whenever we make eye contact all I want to do is scream and yell asking why she made the decisions she did.
Or cry and beg her to come back to me.

Be my best friend again.
Be my sister again.

But all I do is force a smile and wave.

And it fucking hurts.

Everyone says to talk to her. Give her time.

And I've tried.

But I'm holding onto a friendship with a person who doesn't even exist anymore.

So yes I am upset over some "girl drama".

Yes I am upset over the end of a friendship.

Yes I am upset over the loss of my world. my everything.

She taught me how to love in the most pure yet non-romantic way.

We were the definition of platonic.

And she's gone.

And I'm still here.
Holding on to broken hope,
Waiting for something I know will not happen.

And it hurts.
It really fucking hurts.




~maddie

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