Wrapped

Chapter 18

Eighteen ~ Zack

Clary's NOTE: I know that I recapped the last update, but that's what I agreed to do when I was discussing this. Sorry if you readers didn't like it, but it's how I discuss things to keep it interesting I guess. ON WITH THE STORY!

Instead of going to hang out with Logan later tonight, we agreed to just go to my place right after I asked him. Brandon didn't even bother asking why or where Logan was going. Frankly, Brandon was still passed out on the couch.

Logan and I walk down the flight of stairs, strangely, we're holding hands. I don't feel anything with him; no sparks, no fireworks, none of my nerves are working up. I don't have butterflies in my stomach. But, my heart is beating rapidly. I'm not excited for this to be happening, I'm more of nervous.

Maybe this is a mistake to be with Logan in my apartment. Nothing could go too far between us since Pierce and Nick is still in the bedroom together. If Logan and I actually do something, Pierce and Nick would definitely hear us. But, I'm not saying that Logan and I will do anything, I'm just mentioning the possibilities.

We walk into my apartment casually. I don't see Pierce or Nick around in the living room or kitchen. The bedroom door is still closed. I guess they didn't hear us walk in.

I migrate to the couch and sit on it awkwardly. Before I could say anything, Logan sits on my lap and kisses me on the lips roughly. My mind goes blank, but I concentrate on kissing him.

So, I place my hands on his waist and pull him closer to me as I try to kiss him back. It's so. . . what's the word. . . repulsive. I don't want to sound mean, but the taste in his mouth is alcohol and slightly vomit. And his skin just feels dirty. I'm obviously a horrible person for doing these sexual acts with him and I'm commenting in my head of how gross his tastes and feels.

Logan trails his hands up my shirt while shoving his tongue into my mouth. I give out a instinctive moan and pull away from the so - called kiss. I slip my shirt over my head and drop it on the ground as Logan does the same.

Logan presses his lips against mine forcefully, I give in and kiss him back while pulling him down while I lay down on the couch. He presses his body against mine, I can even feel himself stiffen, as for me, this does nothing.

A hand trails down, and goes into my pants, gripping me. I gasp against Logan's lips, giving him the opportunity to shove his tongue back into my mouth, almost down my throat. All of this happening causes me to groan and moan again. I hate giving in so easily.

Why am I even doing this? Doing this with Logan? I can't think of anything to give anybody a reasonable answer why I'm doing this. To help the emptiness that's in my chest fill up with something. But the only thing that is filling up in me is guiltiness and regret. Why do I feel like this? I should feel better by now, shouldn't I?

At least the pain inside me is gone, the feeling replacing it is nothing. I have no other feeling inside me, except of course the occasional despair and anguish.

"Okay, we would like to go out for ice -- What the @#!*% is going on?!"

Logan and I pull away expeditiously while looking over to where we heard the revolted statement. Pierce and Nick are standing in the hallway outside of the bedroom.

I see Pierce, and his expression read anger, disgust, and also sadness. Nick is behind him, almost hiding, but I can see him. He looks confused or lost, also hurt is covering his eyes. I feel like I let them down. But, I shouldn't feel that way. I should feel just fine, fine with everything.

"Let me guess," Pierce says and gently pushes Nick back into the bedroom, and Nick went in without a protest. "You're drunk again, aren't you," Pierce growls and steps in front of Logan and I in the living room.

"It's not what you think - " I start to say but then I get a lost for words. I just need to tell him that I'm not intoxicated, and maybe he'll understand. But, my throat is dry, I can't speak.

"Not what I think?" Pierce laughs to try not to cry.

He always cry if something disbelieving came up. So, to try to calm himself down, he would laugh. But, he didn't do that last night. . . well, last night wasn't a laughing matter anyway in the first place.

"Clearly, your brother isn't drunk during this time of day. We were just having fun, is that a problem?" Logan gets off of me and stands incredibly in front of Pierce.

"Yes, you're messing up my brother!" Pierce takes a step back, only letting Logan step close to him again.

"Pierce, he isn't messing me up, it's okay," I say calmly, trying to build the tension that's build in this room.

"Maybe he wants it to be like this," Logan leans down close to Pierce. "This isn't your fight, baby."

Pierce scoffs and storms back to the bedroom and slams the door.

Why didn't I do anything else? Logan pretty much taunted Pierce. I should have acted like an adult, like an older brother. Not just watch this happen. I feel horrible.

"Now, shall we begin over again?" Logan grins and comes back over to me.

I feel disgust and remorse rise in my body. I need to be mature. I shouldn't be whoring myself around, that's not who I am, and it's not who I should become.

"Go home, Logan. I'll call you later," I sigh through gritted teeth and hand him his shirt as I slip mine back on.

"Are you serious? You're going to let little dramatic brother get to you?" Logan gasps doesn't put on his shirt.

"Out," I say rougher and don't even look at him.

"Wow, I had a fantastic time," Logan says sarcastically and stomps out the front door.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. What am I going to do? Pierce is angry more than ever at me. And he even seemed like he forgave me before he walked in and saw Logan and I on the couch having our little session.

Maybe I could offer going out with Pierce and Nick again. I hope everything could get cleared up. I don't want Pierce holding a grudge over my head, and having Nick being disgusted.

I slowly get up and trudge to the bedroom door. I knock on it and hear "come in". I turn the door handle and walk in, seeing Pierce and Nick cuddling on the couch while watching the television. They both look at me, Nick grins while Pierce stays expressionless.

"Wanna go out for ice cream?" I ask and smile as sweet as I possibly can.

Nick looks up at Pierce while he sighs. "Sure, we'd love to."