Is it weird that someone tells you literally that they are going to kill themselves? It's 11:23pm. I'm talking with my boyfriend on the phone and he won't stop saying he wants to kill himself, that he doesn't want to live anymore.
Says he'll take 20 pills of each kind he can find in his house, or that he will stab or shoot himself.
I'm not even sure if he's kidding. But this is not the first time we talk about it. I don't even know what to do cause he just says it so casually idk if I should get serious. I don't want to make it worse but I can't handle it. I have no idea what to say. My guess is that he won't do it but still... He insists a lot. I'm actually scared. He says he fucking deserves to die stabbing himself!?! He won't even tell me why!!! Why is he feeling this way? Why can't I help him?? I'm crying, idk what to do. What is making him feel this way? I hope he just doesn't hang up, I wanna keep talking to him so at least I know he's there, with no risk of him doing something. I try to ask him why he deserves to die, but he answers "just cause".
I just try to find him a reason not to do it, but he won't let me.
He apparently went for his pills. I tell him I love him, that I don't want him to die, he won't listen.
He wants to hang up, so he can "sleep". I refuse to do it...
I made him promise we will talk tomorrow. He's such an asshole.
I'm still worried, not because he would actually kill himself but more because of what makes him want to do it. I can't understand if he doesn't tell me what's wrong... But I guess I can't make him do anything, except to promise he won't do it. He still hopes a killer comes to get him but don't we all?
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Another Boring Teen's Journal
RastgeleThis is not a novel, a story or whatsoever. I'm just writing here to get everything bothering my mind out. If you're looking for something interesting to read, better go somewhere else.
