The Art of Music Projects

Chapter 16

Camila's POV

It hurts, seeing her everyday and acting like nothing is wrong. It feels like there is a poison in my veins and she holds the cure, yet if I get to close I will die.

Seeing her standing today and witnessing her take two steps, that was something I will never forget.
"Mama, I miss the house." Lucas said as he sat on the couch in the apartment, kicking his feet.

I signed and ran a hand through my hair, "I know you do baby, but it's too big for just us."

"Is mommy ever gonna come home? It's my birthday in two days." He said excitedly.

Two days until my baby turns four and three days until it's been four years without Lucy.

"I don't know baby." I said softly as I willed myself not to cry.

He huffed. "I miss her." He said, rolling off the couch and going into the bedroom.

Taking a deep breath, I ran my hand through my hair. "Me too." I whispered to myself.

Lucas has been acting out since Lauren left, and it seemed like he blamed me for it. Why did she have to leave? Did I do something wrong? Her PTSD was a big problem, the doctor warned me about her pushing me away and now she has and she's gone.

I lost the only light in my life besides Lucas and now it seemed like I was surrounded by darkness. Standing up, I began my usual nightly routine, cleaning the living room and kitchen before heading into the bedroom to go to bed. I changed into my shorts and shirt and slipped into the bed beside Lucas. I prayed that tonight would be the night I actually slept longer than an hour without a nightmare of her leaving, waking me up. I closed my eyes and soon enough I was taken over by sleep.

"Mama? Mama, wake up!" I was startled awake by Lucas shaking me awake. "Mama you haded a bad dweam, it's okay now." He said softly as he ran his hands under my eyes.

It was then that I noticed the tears streaming down my cheeks. "I'm okay baby, just a bad dream." I whispered as I pulled him into my arms.

"If mommy was here you wouldn't be havin them." Lucas said as he laid his head on my chest.

Looking at the time, I saw it was almost five in the morning, I didn't have to be up for another hour. "I know, baby, I know." I whispered, running my hand through his soft hair to calm him.

He curled up on me and fell back to sleep while I stayed awake, staring at the ceiling until my phone started to vibrate.

"Hello?"

I heard breathing on the other end of the line but I got no reply.

"Hello?" I waited for a few minutes but all I heard was breathing. "Okay, seriously who is this?" when there was yet again no response I grew agitated. "That's it, I'm hanging up."

"No wait." The voice came out barely above a squeak.

I sighed and continued running my hand through Lucas' hair, "Lauren?"

I heard her sigh. "I need you, Camz." She sobbed, her voice raw. She must have been crying for a very long time. There was nothing sexual in the sentence.

"Where are you?" I whispered sitting up and gently transferring Lucas onto the bed. "I'll come get you."

"I- I'm at h-home." She sobbed in a whisper.

"I'm on my way." I whispered before quietly climbing out of bed and throwing on some sweatpants, grabbing a hoodie, I make sure to lock the apartment door on my way out. "I'll be there soon baby, the apartment isn't too far from your mom's."