Part eleven

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I sat in my 'new' room in anger hearing my door goes open. I look at her. The one dad wants me to stay with. His sister, Tanya.

"Aandete gaan binnekort gereed wees." She said scanning me from head to toe.

Meaning: Dinner will be ready soon.

"I'm not hungry." I replied and look the other way.

"Jy sal eet. Of jy nou daarvan hou of nie." She said and walked out.

Meaning: You will eat. Whether you like it or not.

I fell back on my bed starting to cry my eyes out.

This bed's mattress is so uncomfortable, this house that smells like lavender stinks, I miss my horse, I miss Luke and Lucas. I miss my mom.

Mom, where are you?
Are you okay?
I wish you were here mom.
I miss you.
I want to smell your hair one more time.
Mom, can I touch you just once again.
Can you hold me tight?
Mom, what's going on?
Mom, I want to look at you again.

I MISS HER!

How am I gonna live here without her.

How?

There's so much I haven't said to her yet.

Mom!!!

***
Tanya had let me see my friends. They're like strangers to me. Kind of hard to think little time changes everything.

Sannie and Jack sat with me in the park talking but I unhappily ignored them and just played my fingers in the grass.

I miss the dirt.

I miss the farm.

I miss HER.

"So hoe was dit?" Sannie asked getting my attention.

Meaning: so, how was it?

"You don't look pleasant to see us." Jack raised an eyebrow.

"She would've taken me to town to call you. Then they came and took me away." I said to them with tears in my eyes.

"I thought you hated her." Jack said giving me a strange look. "Are you maybe suffering stockholm syndrome?"

"No!" I replied to them angrily. "She is such an amazing women you guys. She's my mom. She's nothing like my dad described her to be. She's...she's perfect. Yes she has a past where dad made her life horrible but...the new she is way better than I'll ever be."

"Jyt verander." I heard Sannie saying.

Meaning: you changed.

"Change is good." I replied faking a smile afterwards. "I discovered myself through her."

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