Princess of AMBER

Chapter 18

         I could not believe my eyes. She was here, right in front of me. I should be happy for finally being reunited with her, but I felt nothing of that. Instead the strong pain and helplessness took over my being. She did not look real to me. Her skin was pale, bandages covered the injuries, her face was bruised on her right cheek. Just a shell of her normally looking self. I stood in one spot, not knowing what to do. Do I go and hug her, embrace her, after so many days of separation? Or do I stay here and watch her from afar?

      After many minutes of shock filled moment, I notice a figure standing in a corner of the room, next to Kyra's bed. My eyes move to the person, who was present, since I came here, but failed to notice. A woman in white uniform, standing still. She did not say anything, just stared at me with frightened expression. This young girl looked like a nurse, that was clear to me, but I asked her anyway: „Who are you?"

She made a tiny jump, after hearing my voice filling the room. Now I was facing her directly.

„I am Jessica, her care taker." she replied so quiet, I was barely able to hear her.

I looked back at my owners sleeping form. Her lower body was covered by the blankets and for me it was hard to asses, how serious her injuries were.

„What happened to her?"

„Uhmm... I don't know. I am here only to monitor her health. Of what I heard, she was shot by a equipment used to neutralize the robots. She has severe burns from the electric shock given by a ...thing... a... bullet I believe. I am not quite sure, what the gun looks like or what it does. She also has deep injuries on her right side of body of the strong impact made by the.... thing..." The nurse was so nervous, she could barely talk. Was it because of me or something else? „How can somebody do such evil thing to a human being. That gun is not meant to be used on people. Our bodies are too fragile to withstand the tough force impacted by it." few tears left her scared eyes, as she glanced at Kyra.

„Leave us alone!" I demanded, but my voice was not harsh.

„I...I am not al...allowed to leave her..." girl stuttered.

I walked few steps closer to her, looming threateningly over. Jessica pulled herself deeper in to the corner.

„Leave now!" I growled dangerously close to her face. I moved my body sideways to let her escape my frightening company.

She scurried out of the room in no time and I was left alone with Kyra, just two of us now.

Eerie silence filled the room. At first, I did not know what to do.

      On other side of bed I noticed a chair. I walked slowly to it not leaving my eyes from Kyra's sleeping body. I sat on it and my hand instinctively reached to her cheek – bruised cheek. It stopped before my fingers could graze against her face, just millimeters away from her injuries. I was afraid to touch her. I wanted, I wanted so much to feel her warmth, but I did not want to cause her pain, as I was unaware of exact places she has been hurt. Few strands of hair were covering her forehead and I brushed them off to better see her face, almost forgotten one. I could not describe the feelings that went through me. Sadness, pain, a strong ache, that filled my chest. A guilt. I am responsible for the state she is in. Why does she have to take all the blame? I take her small hand in my huge arm, the warmth spreading through my skin. Her body is not in same temperature, as it used to be, probably from the blood loss during the accident.

     I was in this room for many hours, but the feelings got worse by every passing minute. I needed to let them out. Everything was boiling inside of me, the thoughts going in circles in my mind. I felt trapped by my own emotions. How do I free myself from this pain, that I am feeling? How? What humans do in these kind of situations? Cry? If that is a way to feel better, than I want to cry..... But I cannot. And I will never be able to. Does it mean all this ache is going to stay inside of me forever? I will go insane. I can feel it already, slowly eating away my sanity.

    My head is resting on a bed, one of my hands hold Kyra's, other one is tangled in crooks of the sheet. My fingers forcefully drag trough the fabric, as my anger starts to wake up from a slumber. I can feel it rising up, ready to explode any minute. I try to contain it, with all my will and strength. This is no place for my violent outbursts, not here, not where Kyra is trying to rest and recover.

    All of it is her fault. One day Natalie will pay for her doings and I will make sure of it. She have made a monster out of me. She should have listened to the people objecting her idea, which was never great to begin with. And more of that, people in this city will pay for their doings. I don't care who's fault it is, who started it all. They just need to feel, what I feel. I will crush their little world, as they did it to mine. And everyone, who will stand against me or people I care about, will have a taste of misery they have brought upon themselves.

„Kyra, we will get through this. Nothing will stop me. Just you and me. Just please get better soon. I will be waiting." I say, still sleeping on the edge of the bed.

***

    Last night I left Kyra to rest and be by herself, not smothering her with my presence. She needs a calm environment to recover and my constant energy of rage will not help her to get back on her feet. I left the factory's grounds through main entrance and no one paid attention to me, just some insignificant glances, like I was one of them, an ordinary sight in their workplace. Walking through Amber at night, I tried to suppress my urges to cause harm to anyone, that would come in my way. I did not plan to go back to Natalie for the moment. I might cause some issues, which I would not be happy about. I still need her smart head.

    There were less people on the streets at night,which helped me to subside the hatred I felt. Being around them, made me be aware of my emotions and I paid the constant attention to contain them. It was hard, but I need to do it for Kyra. Right now, I knew she is OK, somewhat, and it made my life worth living. I will try not to do stupid things, that puts her or me in danger.

    Wandering around the city throughout the night, gave me a reason to get familiar with the places I haven't been to. This morning I came back to 'AmberSol' to check up on Kyra. I decided to use main entrance to make sure, I did not imagine last night events. I passed through the gates without a problem and I realized, that maybe William is aware of my visits.

A smart man! I smiled to myself.