My Depression thoughts

Can't Handle It

I'm going to rant about me and what I really want to say to my friend /cousin, you don't have to read this, you can if you want but it's something on my mind so

You said that you can't handle what's happening to me, really, really. you think I can handle the thought going through my mind 24/7, the anxiety of talking to people but have to hide it because you put on this mask that never shows weakness. Is the stress of having everyone count on you and one little mistake and someone might yell at you, or the stress of having to make people laugh or be a friend then be disappointed when they throw you away like trash. Is it the disappointing feeling you get when you cave and eat something know your getting fatter and fatter, or is it that shame you feel when everyone has it worse and your probably just doing it for attention, cause in know that last feelings pretty well because you keep reminding me every time I talk about my feelings. I'm so tired of feeling this way and having to hide it I'm done doing what everyone else wants me to do. I'd rather be happy and have everyone hate me then to be miserable and have everyone love me I'm not your puppet anymore . It's like Pinocchio said, "I got no string to hold me down" I'm going and knowing you, you'll probably cry so why don't you go rant to someone else because you know what, I can't handle it.