My Depression thoughts

My Story

What you call a friend
I call a stranger

When I'm with you
My mind is in danger

Earbuds in music blasting
I like this song
Keep it lasting

Because I don't want to hear my mind
But the music isn't loud enough this time

The voices are to loud in my head
It's not people it's me wishing I was dead

But you hate when I have my earbuds in
It's the only thing keeping sane
The only thing keeping me from the end

I'm sorry I you think I'm wanting attention
Maybe your right now that you mention

Or maybe it's a cry for help
Because I'm watching my happiness
Melt

But you don't notice
You just see what you want to see
Just let me be

Take away my music
Let me go insane
Maybe if you come and see me
You feel my pain

You'll see me in a corner
Rocking back and forth
I wonder how much
My happiness was worth

My bloody wrist
Bloody thigh
I don't need a smoke
I'm already high

High of the pain
High of the agony
It got to my lung
HELP I can't breathe

Come here I need to tell you this
Wait GET AWAY
Someone shot at you and they missed

That bullet was my pain
My secret
But I saved you
And I have nothing to gain

I start talking but not to you
I talk to myself
Cause there's nothing else to do

I have a creative brain
I made up someone to talk to
To keep me sane

But is it really keeping me sane
Or is it just
A way to show my pain

I have to make up someone
Because I can't talk to you
Right now I'm just mentally done

I bet your wondering
Why I can't talk to you
Because
I'm scared of you

I'm scared of the judgement
Every word you say to me
Is torment

I'm just a child I don't know what depression is
I'm probably just one of the stupid kids

I had a good family, good life
But I was a strange kid
Because I new how to
Use a knife

I don't even know what's happening
So how could you
I'm like a dr. Suess book
Were, what ,who

1,2,3,6,8,13,20
When will it stop
Your an addict to
Just add it to the the top

To everyone out there who selfharm
And wants someone to see
No one will notice till you show your arms

I just have a question
When will it end
Is it when I slit my wrist to deep
Or jump head first in a den

That's the end of my story
Sorry it was gory
I just need to give the strangers
And myself some glory
Hope this wasn't corny
Cause I feel like that movie
Finding dory

When your done reading this don't hug
And have sympathy for me
Cause you didn't before
And it seems useless
See