Phan oneshots

I hate the idea of you

Word count: 1156.

Description: Phil isn't the happiest about biology teacher (and general bother) Dan Howell turning up at his office just to flirt with him.

Warnings: x

***

"Why the hell do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you?" I asked, clutching the arm rests of my desk chair where my hands lay limp before. My eyes narrowed at the teacher stood in the doorframe of my office, the same teacher that had interrupted my marking seemingly just to shout at me for something I hadn't done. Well - he hadn't shouted yet - but I knew him too well.

Daniel Howell, biology teacher and general bother. Always one to make remarks and apparently get everyone laughing but me. The type of guy to make friends with everyone. The perfect guy, right?

Wrong.

You would think so, but he always seemed to be talking about me behind my back. Literally. Whispering with other teachers and looking back in my direction, just like school all over again.

How ironic.

"I don't hate you, I just hate the idea of you." He said, tall body positioned to easily lean up against the door frame. He had that smirk again too. That stupidly cute and dumb smirk he had on his face all the time when talking to me.

"What does that even mean?" I asked, slightly offended.

His smirk only grew wider at my question. He chuckled slightly, then began making his way into the room to lean up against my desk instead of the doorframe. "You're so... Flawless. How?"

"I don- what?" I stuttered at the sudden question and he raised an eyebrow. I began shuffling papers around on my desk to make myself look busy and to hide the slight blush that had begun to develop.

He continued as if I hadn't said a word. "You're beautiful - absolutely stunning - and I hate it."

I couldn't ignore it again. I took a second to close my eyes, to prepare the question in my head, then started speaking. "Wh--"

"-- how do you do it? I mean, just look at your skin! You're practically glowing." He interrupted, purposely waiting until I started to speak to do so.

I glared at his pleased look.

"Are you actually flirting with me right now?" I asked quickly before he could get another word in.

"And your hair is so shiny! So silky!"

I rolled my eyes, over the initial shock by that point. "You're kidding. Please tell me you're kidding."

"But my favourite part is your eyes. Such a wonderful colour. Or maybe your pretty little smile?"

He began moving around the desk, shifting around until he was directly to my left and was sitting instead of leaning against so I was forced to look up at him.

"If you're going to flirt at least stop with the clichés."

He chuckled again, leaning forward from his new position. "Clichés are all I have in this world, my dear. Well, that and blood."

I laughed ever so slightly at that myself.

"Dark."

"That's me all over, love." He replied, leaning forward more and getting closer and closer to me.

"Oh, I see there's pet names now. Great. I just love it when guys I barely know call me 'love'." I said quieter than before, his closeness getting to me once more and causing a ever so slight blush.

At with that he pulled back. "Only the finest for you, my sweet."

I huffed, crossing my arms and relaxing back into the chair again.

"Fine. Wonderful. Why are you here if you're not going to shout at me."

"I actually came to see if you wanted to go for coffee tomorrow?" He asked out of nowhere. I felt my eyes go wider and could suddenly see the nervousness on his face. Payback time.

"No way." I smirked.

His slight smile dropped. "Oh. Well, can't say I didn't try."

"I hate coffee." I told him as he jumped down from the desk. He began to make his way back to the door, a much sadder air around him than the one he walked into the room with.

"That's fine, I understand. Sorry to bother you. I'll let you get back to your lesson planning or whatever it is you're doing." He said as he got to the door. He turned back and gave me a quick smile before I stopped him.

"However I wouldn't oppose to Chinese."

It was his time to blush and stutter. "Ch- wh- Chinese?"

I went back to my work, nodding my head. I waited a minute before looking up again to see him with a very obvious look of confusion on his face.

"Yeah. Chinese food?"

"Oh. Oh." He replied quietly. However, he took one look at my pleased face and instantly bounced back to being flirty and bold once more. "Ha, well I think I can do that."

"You think?" I asked, putting my pen down. I rested my elbow on the table and my head on my fist while he started making his way back into the room again.

"I know. No way I would turn down such an opportunity."

"Oh really?" I questioned him, raising my eyebrow once more. "What opportunity?"

He broke out into a grin. "What, a date with the hottest guy on campus? Sign me up."

"I feel like a school child." I commented as he sat down on my desk again.

"You basically are. Add 'childish in the best way' to the list."

"List? Are you keeping a list of my best qualities?" I leant forward, placing my hand on his knee.

His own hand covered mine easily. It was much warmer than I expected, I was probably freezing his with my own. "Yep. And with that addition? I think the total is about all of them."

"How bold." I stated, pulling my hand away so he could retain some of his own heat. He must have taken it in a different way however, slotting his hand into his pocket instead.

"That's me. Speaking of, I'll pick you up tomorrow after classes. Does four sound good to you?" He asked as he began pulling out his phone, presumably to check the time, and jumping off of my desk again.

"Sounds perfect."

He began making his way out of the room. "Great."

"Oh, and Dan?" I called just before he left for real. He had one hand already placed on the doorframe, about to turn the corner, and one foot out of the door already.

"Yeah?" He asked, turning back around quickly. I smiled at his ambitiousness and gave him a wink.

"I hate the idea of you too."

***

I'm currently 5000 words deep in a oneshot and 2/5ths of the way through, hence why I haven't posted in ages. Sorry this isn't the best but I just wanted to post something so I wrote this in about half an hour.