Truth~ Jyatt, Fack, Nillie

~1

Jaeden

I think I started to realize I was different in kindergarten when Tommy K wanted to play trains with me during recess. I had scuffed at him like kindergarteners often do and tramped towards the toy kitchen where I could play house with all the girls.

I knew I was different in fifth grade when kids started liking each other. Ashley M asked me to be her date to our after-graduation party and I had nervously made up an excuse about being Mormon and not allowed to date. She did not know what a Mormon was and neither did I, quite frankly. But it worked and I suppose that's all that mattered.

I accepted I was different in eighth grade when Michael J sat next to me in biology. He was cute enough but funny and leaned close to me during labs. He wore a nice cologne, and not too much where i couldn't breathe, either. A happy medium. It smelt of old spice and freshly washed clothes. Sometimes he'd nudge me to show me something on his phone. When my best friend Finn asked me if I liked any of the girls and the first thing that came to mind was Michael, that's when I accepted what I was.

Accepted that I was gay.

As it is becoming more common I am realizing I should not fear it but I also realize I am the one who doesn't want it to be real. My friends wouldn't care, the majority of the school probably already know, and my parents love me regardless. But why was I so scared?

I came out in tenth grade. Finn was the first person I told. It wasn't just because he was my best friend- why I chose Finn, it was because I believed he'd get it better than anyone else. I then confided in Jack and then Noah. Sophia and then Caleb. They didn't care. Hugged me and told me nothing changed. My family already figured and I didn't have to tell the kids at school anything.

Two years later, it just became an accepted thing.

"I am so bored," Finn sighs, throwing his phone beside him on the couch and moving on the couch so he is sitting upside down, his long hair skimming the carpet.

It was a Friday evening, everyone was hanging out except for Noah and Caleb who had football practice. We usually hung out and watched a movie but we can't seem to find a movie to agree on or anything to do so we're all hanging out all on our phones.

"Then entertain yourself, Wolfhard." Says an annoyed Sophia after Finn has announced this for the tenth time.

Jack, a smaller mischievous boy, maneuvers his body to mimic Finn's, sighs. "I know what we can do." I look over my phone and at the stupid grin on Jack's face. I know that whatever this is, involves alcohol or weed and I probably won't like it.

Finn turns so he's facing Jack, the two peas in a pod.

They point at each other and in unison yell, "we should go to Wyatt's party!"

There is a reason we aren't there already. A reason they are already aware of. Besides the fact that Wyatt and his friends are the biggest group of assholes but because Wyatt and I have had problems in the past.

Wyatt and I used to be best friends. Closer then Finn and I. Longer than Finn and I. We'd rotate houses to sleep at and hide when a parent came to pick us up. But we got older. Wyatt had suspected my feelings towards Michael and grew distant. He gravitated towards Gaten and Chosen, the biggest homophobic assholes in the school. He started hanging out with them more and me less and when I went to confront him on our dying friendship he called me a desperate f word and slammed the door on me. I haven't talked to him since.

Sophia was in from the get-go. Anything to do with alcohol and she was in. I knew they wouldn't go if I really didn't want them to but the idea of alcohol wasn't horrible and Wyatt did have a big house. The odds of us running into each other were small...