I never was a fan of venting. But I need to sometimes and I apologize for this, Wattpad but I need this.
Because I feel empty. All the things that make me, me is deteriorating. Slowly disappearing into a dark void of gone-ness. I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel so strange inside someone I used to know but now I feel like a stranger.
I see myself becoming someone I'd never thought I would and feeling something I haven't felt in a long time. I'm losing connection to everyone else and I feel fake. I feel like pushing everyone away and seeing what would happen if I disappear. For a while, this time. For a long time...
Maybe I could find myself in the void if I looked. And it sucks. Because my birthday is this week. And I sure as hell am not feeling like I'm alive. Not my soul anyways. I feel like I'm dying.
One of my trusted friends told me that I am thinking too much. And I am. But I can't stop anymore. It's like the more I try to be me the less I am me. But I don't want to know what happens when I don't try at all.
Do you love me? Does anyone? I feel like I ruin things. Because my closest friend (same as above) used to love me but I hurt him so much that we are different now and I wish I didn't screw him over. Because him and I.... we are understanding of each other. I should never let him go but I keep pushing him away because that's what I do. I just want to end sometimes...
But you don't have to feel that way. Because, baby birds, I will always be here for you. No matter who you are, where you come from, or whatever else. I don't care. You mean the world to me. I wish I meant the world to someone, but I don't. You mean the world to me. I want to give you at least that. Okay, baby birds?
I love you all.
Elisa💛
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Words I'd Never Say
PoetryThis is a book of random things ranging from deep thoughts to ideas and drafts for books and random things to just talk about. Comments are greatly appreciated. (It's more like a connection book. I'll write a few things and you respond. Ready? Jus...
