Words I'd Never Say

?

I don't know how to express my feelings right now. So if you don't understand, that's okay. I don't either. But I hope that you can piece things together.

And so we begin...

I almost fell for you. You made it easy for me, didn't you? You got close. You gave me the warmth I needed when I needed it. But all I feel is cold. Is that how you felt with her?

Maybe that's why you do this. She hurt you; and now, you hurt me. Transitive property. We learned all of this stuff in geometry. You are very good at geometry. I should know. You got 100's and I struggled to get 94's. I just wish that you could answer my questions like you answer the math problems: right, and truthfully.

I see the way you look at me now Do you know that you look at me differently? You stare at me a lot but you never say a word. Maybe that's why you have a blank stare. Do you gaze at me purposely? Do you want to drive me crazy for you all over again? Or do you do it because you can't help it? I doubt it. It's probably just coincidence. I wouldn't know. You are always silent.

Does your silence eat away at you like it does to me? I want you to say something. I miss you so gosh darn much. But I'll let you come to me. I can't run back after I finally stood up for myself. You know I'm not like that.

But do you? You don't know me. It's like we've become strangers so quickly. Is that what you want? I don't know what I want. But I thought you'd be in my life forever. You promised you would.

Is it bad that I miss you? Don't answer. I know you would love if I missed you. You always liked that I was so easy to manipulate. At least hat's what my friends say. What do you think? I know what you think. You think that everyone hates you. They don't. They hate what you do.

I wish I knew what to think. Maybe it would be easier to decide if I wanted you in my life before you made that choice for me.

You didn't even say goodbye...