Weird little Valentine

Chapter 19 - I can't do this

- Valentine -

"... And that's what happened." 

JJ looked at me with his eyes wide open. He had listened to me explain everything that had happened without saying a word, so I could understand why he was a little shocked. It was a rather large amount of information to take in. 

JJ blinked and finally spoke. "I can't believe she did that to you." I nodded. To me I can believe it but for someone who doesn't know my step-sister and step-mother, it can be really surprising.

"I hate them. I never thought it would come to me feeling like this towards them but as time goes by I find myself disliking them even more and now I actually hate them." I told him, looking down at my fingers that I was playing with. We were sat in front of each other on the bed with our legs crossed. He had brought a bag so it was obvious that he planned on staying with me which was very sweet of him. 

He shuffled closer to me. "Well by the sounds of it they aren't very nice people so I wouldn't blame you for hating them. I would." he chuckled, taking my hand into his and stroking it with his thumb.

I sighed and looked up at him. "I love my dad but I don't deserve to be treated like shit."

"You don't, babe." He agreed, still carressing my hand. "So how long do you plan on staying here?"

"Two days max." I replied before adding, "Travis said I can stay longer if needs be and that I can leave earlier too and that I'dget my money back. He was being really nice." 

"Yeah, too nice for my liking." JJ muttered and I moved forward and kissed his cheek.

I smiled because I knew he was jealous. "I'm not interested in him." I whispered in his ear.

He looked into my eyes, his cheeks looking rather rosie. "You sure?" 

I nodded. "Yes. Double sure with a cherry on top." I replied, holding his head in my hands and kissing his forehead.

He smirked and I knew that an idea had popped into his head. Before I knew it, he playfully pushed me down and was straddling me and kissing me. I missed it and I missed him. He knew what to do and say when I was feeling down. 

"Don't listen to them, Vee. They aren't worth it." he whispered in my ear. "You are beautiful and deserve much better than what you get." 

"Thank you." I whispered back in his ear before kissing him passionately. His lips were soft and God damn it, I couldn't get enough. He was addictive and the more time we spent together, the more I wanted him. I knew he was still with her but I wanted him all to myself. Was that selfish to think? Probably. 

After getting rather far into our make-out session I stopped to his surprise because his girlfriend came into my mind once again. I felt bad and no matter how much I told myself that she didn't deserve him and that I deserved him, in the end it was still cheating and I was being eaten alive by the guilt. 

I sat up and crossed my legs. Before I sat with my head in my hands. "I can't do this." It came out as quiet as a whisper. 

"What do you mean you can't do this?" he asked, sitting back a little bit. "I'll teach you if you want?" He was genuinely thinking I was not capable of doing something, bless. 

"It's not that, John." I quietly chuckled before explaining, "The guilt is eating me alive, JJ. You are in a relationship and I'm doing this with you. It's not right!" My voice got louder towards the end. I ended up lifting my head up to look at him. Tears began to form in my eyes and I didn't know how to make them go away.

"It's not just your decision, I want this as much as you do, Vee. I deserve to have you, not her!" he replied equally as loud. It was cute hearing him say he deserves me when I had said I deserve him. It showed that we were on the same page. The fact that he was also raising his voice showed how much he meant what he said. 

I smiled then sighed. "I don't like doing this behind her back though. She is your girlfriend after all, John." 

He sighed and took my hand. "I don't want her as my girlfriend, Vee. I want you." 

I smiled for a second as I looked down at our hands. "Yeah, but the reality is that she's your girlfriend, not me." 

After a few minutes of playing with our hands and silence, he lifted my chin up with his hand and kissed me softly  on my lips. He took a breath, "I'm going to end it with her."

I was shocked. "You what?"

"I can't stand being with you, knowing that you can't be my girlfriend because of her. I need to end it." he explained to me, looking into my eyes. "I've been thinking about that lately." 

"But your situation is complicated. Her mum is going to do bad things to you if you end it." I was panicking and ended up with JJ pulling me into a hug to calm me down. It managed to work. 

"I'll be fine. I will slowly do it." He said, stroking my back. "I will start acting even worse with her and if she doesn't end it off then I will end up doing so; even if her mum gets back at me for it." 

I felt the tears fall from my eyes and there was nothing I could do. I felt guilty for his girlfriend, my family not knowing about us and for just putting JJ in this position. I was a cheater and I felt ashamed of myself. I felt like I was betraying everyone and I didn't want to hurt anyone. 

He stroked my back to keep me calm and I was enjoying it. I felt very relaxed and calm indeed. "Don't cry, princess." JJ whispered to me trying to calm me down again. He never called me princess until then and funnily enough, it made me feel a little better. 

"How did it get like this, JJ?" I blubbered. 

He sighed, "I fell for a beautiful girl, but unfortunately I ended up with a horrid girl who is only with me because her mum blackmailed me to be with her." 

I let go of him and looked at him. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, Valentine. I am so sorry that I have brought you into this." he apologised, looking down with dissapointment. 

I sighed and lifted his head up with my index finger. "Don't apologise. You have nothing to apologise for John. I would rather be in this with you than not at all." 

I was beginning to feel a little better after talking about our tough situation. I began to feel a little less guilty again and I knew that he felt just as bad as I did but not for his girlfriend but for me. We understood each other and we knew that the situation needed sorting out because it was a mess. 

"Agreed." He smiled at me. "I don't want to be with her anymore, she is horrible. I am going to sort this out once and for all, maybe not straight away but soon." 

I nodded, "Good because I want you all to myself."

He smirked and pushed me down onto the bed and kissed me. "Good to hear you say that, babe. I only want you." 

I smiled as we kissed. I just wanted him and nobody else, even if we hadn't know each other that long. I knew that I deeply wanted him to be mine and only mine. Of course, life isn't that simple and we had things to take care of but now that we had a plan things were looking up. 

"Let's get some sleep, mister. It's been a long day." I giggled as I laid next to him playing with his hair.

"Let me get changed then, ma'am." He replied with a laugh, getting off of the bed and taking his bag to the bathroom to get changed. 

I smiled to myself and ended up falling asleep before he got back but after a long and dramatic day, who could blame me? Not me!

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Thanks for reading! 

I wasn't a sure of this chapter but I think it kind of gives them a chance to talk about their situation and what is going to happen. They don't get many chances to talk their feelings and this kind of gave them that opportunity :) 

Vote, comment and fan! Thank you, beauties xxx